The First Goodbyes

Well the day finally came, the day I had to start my goodbyes before leaving for Spain.  Yesterday was the last day of school, and my last day with my students in the after-school program I've worked at for the past ten months. 

Pumpkins we carved in the fall.

Over the past ten months I've grown really close with all of the kids we watched.  Most of them I had the experience of working with them in school as their substitute teacher, as well as out of school in the after-school program.  And despite all the long days, all the times I wanted to pull my hair out because no one was following directions, I never actually thought the day would come when I would have to say goodbye to these amazing children and their wonderful families.

The delicious donut cake we bought them

Part of me still thinks that I'll just see their bright, shining faces tomorrow; yelling my name down the hallway and running over to give me a hug.  But the worst part is when they tell me they can't wait to see me again in the fall.  Because I've told them all, and their families, my plans.  I have had those talks explaining that "Miss Lauren found a job in Spain,  it's across the ocean so I won't be here next year with all of you."  But they're young and most don't even know what Europe is, so they look up at me with those big, eager eyes "But you'll visit us, right?"  And cue my heart melting...

As we said our goodbyes I had to remind them that I don't know if I'll see them again.  Most still didn't comprehend that it was the end of my time there, a few even said they would see me tomorrow.  One of my favorite little girls almost walked out without giving me a final hug until her dad gently reminded her.  You could see it hit her as she dropped all of her stuff and jumped into my arms for a final hug; this very well could be the last time we saw each other.  A few of the children I did give my address to so we could write each other.  And while this promise of keeping in touch softened the blow to my already sensitive personality, I didn't realize goodbye would be so hard.  I had not prepared myself for this first set of goodbyes...I didn't think I would have to start so soon!

"My favorite thing about School's Out is the teachers"

I'm proud of how much these little ones have grown and glad I've gotten to share the year with them and their wonderful families.  The cards some of the families gave me were so touching; knowing I have their appreciation is worth more than any gift I could ever be given.  The chance to have a small part in the lives of their children has been so fulfilling and has made my first year after college so much more rewarding.  I do hope I can stay in touch with the few families who I have exchanged addresses with, because (and maybe this is just because I'm an emotional mush-ball) these children have all weaseled their way into my heart.  

Ah so cute, breaking my heart!

Saying my first goodbyes have made me realize that rest are not far behind.  Before I know it, it will be time to leave all of the people I love here...  But I'll try not to worry about those for now. It's bittersweet enough saying good-bye to the bright little faces I've gotten to spend time with for the past ten months.  Bittersweet having the last day of of silly pictures, bear hugs, making 'boo-boos' better, and little voices expressing their love.  Now we're both on our own new journeys, and I feel blessed that I've gotten to play a even small part in who they are and who they will become.