Balancing Life and Catching Up

It's been a while, okay maybe a few months is more than a while, but I've finally lost the guilty feeling of not keeping this blog up-to-date. Back in 2013 there were many times I forced myself to sit down in front of the screen and write something that just didn't inspire me. So for 2014 I had vowed that I would only write when I really felt moved to, and because it was something that interested me. If people read what I write that's great, if they don't I have this page for myself and my loved ones.

So I continue this vow for 2015. No inspiration, no post.

Teacher Appreciation Day, what's not inspiring about this?

Since moving back to Spain last summer I found myself wondering about my general outlook on life. I had gotten so comfortable living life here in Madrid that I almost forgot I was still living abroad. After the tragic death of Robin Williams, I vowed I had to seize the day more and push myself out of my comfort zone; whether it be small steps like buying running shoes, taking a Spanish exam, or hurtling down a mountain learning how to ski.

And yes, while it's a great to seize the day, there has to be some kind of balance to 'seizing the day' and being comfortable and secure. A balance I've never really felt like I've been able to grasp. Living with anxiety has always made me feel like I was living from one extreme to the next. I was always worrying about something, whether is was a legitimate concern or not.

Casual day relaxing with zombies at Parque de Atracciones.

The last half of 2014 brought about various steps to balance out my life, on all different levels. A balance of saving and spending, of work and fun, of comfort and excitement, of worrying and relaxing, and of social time and "me" time. I guess that's what it means to 'grow up,' knowing when, where, and how far to push yourself. And I feel that it truly paid off, because 2014 has been one of my happiest years.

In 2014 I spent my first Christmas season away from home. Instead I visited with my boyfriend's amazing family in Santander and was welcomed with open arms into their holiday celebrations; had my first cotillón, my first roscón de reyes, and my first Carnaval. I spent a wonderful month at home in the summer enjoying the beach and time with my friends and family and renewed for a second year in my school.

Beautiful Cantabria

Upon my return to Spain I pushed myself to learn and improve myself, both physically and mentally. I started to run in hopes of being able to run 5 km without my inhaler. I took the DELE (Diploma of Spanish as a Foreign Language) at the B2 level and I finished the year off by learning how to ski, even making my way onto some easy Red paths.

I took full advantage of living in Europe and traveled as much as possible. I saved every spare cent I could and explored more of Europe and Spain. With my father I returned to Paris, Rome and Toledo, but also traveled to new destinations like Ávila, Barcelona, Mérida, Santiago de Compestela, Ibiza, Salamanca, and Ireland. (And for all those who think it's not possible, I've also been actively saving and paying off my student loans. It's all about the private classes and budgeting).

Templo de Debod

As 2015 arrived, I thought about my initial goals for arriving to Spain and how they all circled around traveling and Spanish. Of course there's nothing wrong with wanting to see the world and improving my language skills, but few of them focused on my health and well-being. My blog is called "Life after College," and I feel like over the past few years I've lost sight of my original intentions: documenting my life after college in a relatable way. 

Yes, my own life has revolved around Spain the past couple of years, but I don't want to paint an idyllic picture of my life as sunshine and roses. Spain is wonderful and I love living here, but I still have doubts of my post-graduate life. How am I going to pay off my student loans? What am I doing with my life? What am I going to do in the future? Is this the right choice for me?

The winding road after college

So I've created new goals this year, goals that balance my love of travel with my health and well-being. Goals to help stay true to myself, and to this blog. Goals to help make the most of my life after college.

• Stick to a consistent exercise routine
• Eat healthier foods without sacrificing taste
• Run 5 km without an inhaler
• Learn how to relax
• Save for my student loans
• Blog when I can, and share the good and the bad
• Improve my Spanish to take the C1 exam next spring
• Travel to two new countries this year (Portugal down, one more to go)
• Visit the rest of Spain's autonomous communities
• Aragón
• Gran Canarias
• Comunidad Valenciana
• Murcia

I am excited to work more on this blog this year, and to share some fantastic news. Big changes are coming my way this year, and I couldn't be happier!

Carpe Diem

Since my last post I've been busy, as in: finishing the school year, moving apartments, visiting home, and moving back to Madrid busy.  Even though I'm finally back in Madrid and settled into our new apartment I still had trouble feeling inspired, until this week.

This past Monday the world lost one of its greatest talents, and it got me thinking about where I am in my life all thanks to one of my favorite Robin Williams' movies: Dead Poets Society.

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Don't worry, no spoilers here if you haven't seen the film (though you should), but Dead Poets Society has inspired me since the first time I watched it in my sophomore English class.  The major concept of the movie is an unconventional teacher, played by Williams, inspiring his students to think for themselves and make the most of their lives.

Being a high schooler myself when I first watched the film I could relate to the students who struggled with concepts of peer pressure, conformity, and self-doubt.  I laughed, I cried, and I vowed that I would take Williams' advice and make my life extraordinary.

Fast forward to Monday, and the start of this post and the question of what I'm doing with my life.  Yes I went to college, got a degree, made friends, fell in love, worked hard, traveled, and moved across the world but was I really "seizing the day?"  

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Ok, moving to Spain I may have taken the road less traveled but what good is it if I'm not "living deliberately," if I'm not fully enjoying and appreciating this amazing opportunity that I have.

I have become so comfortable with my life, both back in the USA and now here in Spain.  During the school year I woke up, went to work, came home, cleaned and cooked, and went to bed.  Not really an extraordinary life is it?  Even now on vacation my life has fallen into the routine of cooking and cleaning, sounds like instead of "sucking the marrow out of  life" I'm "choking on the bone."

With the sudden, tragic loss of Robin I decided it was time to make good of my sophomore year vow.  Before it was too late I would make my life extraordinary.  So what did I do?  

I bought running shoes.

Sounds pretty normal right?  But for someone who loves to exercise but has never been able to run outside because of hip pain buying a pair of good running shoes (apparently I had high arches all this time) is the start of me seizing the day, and my life.  And today, on this beautiful sunny day, I went for a jog and for the first time I finished without any pain.

Templo de Debod, beautiful place for jog.

To me, living an extraordinary life doesn't mean crazy dare devil moves or spending lots of money, it means enjoying your time and making the most out of every moment.  Whether it's time with friends, having a nice run, picking up a new language, or trying a new recipe.  Push yourself, open yourself up to new things, and take every ounce from your life that you are capable.  Always remember that the most beautiful thing about life is:

"That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"

Post-College Expectations Vs. Reality

Where have I been for the past few weeks?  Drilling Spanish children on what it means to be healthy or unhealthy? Yes. Over indulging in Spanish culture?  Maybe.  Ignoring blog world? Never.

The truth is that my computer suddenly decided it didn't love me anymore and now processes at a speed roughly slower than a snail/tortoise hybrid baby would.  While it "claims" there is no virus, I'm currently only able to add anything to my blog when the BF isn't using his computer (and with his Master's presentation this week, that time has been few and far between).

With that being said, it's also been a while since I've had a post more about dealing with life after college, instead of my current life abroad in Spain.  While this does happen to be my life after college, I understand that there are many who may come to this blog who aren't very interested in what I'm doing but are looking for advice in the process of leaving their college years behind.

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Well this one's for you guys.

Last year before I came to Spain I wrote a post called: Common Life After College Myths Debunked talking about some common myths I had heard, and some I felt, before graduating.  Now almost two years post-graduation (Seriously? One year after college was hard enough to process...) I'm realizing that all my own expectations and plans have changed, and not necessarily in a negative way.

I thought I would have a real job by now...

Yeah I know it wasn't a good market, and very few people were being hired...but I thought somehow I would be different.  Those statistics didn't apply to me, I had done well in all my student teaching practicums and even won awards, it may take a few tries I would be hired.  Wrong.  I still remember the first teaching jobs I applied to where over 400 people applied to the same position and I wasn't even called in for an interview.  I was heartbroken, like I wasn't a good enough teacher because I wasn't hired straight out of college.  

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But after I started substitute teaching  I began to realize that those statistics were there for a reason, and that I wasn't the only one trying to break into the education field.  There were so many subsitutes I met who had been struggling like this for nearly a decade!  And I finally realized that not having my dream job right away didn't mean I wasn't good enough, I had to define my own worth because no job would do that for me.  So I made up my mind that, that was the year I made the move to Spain.  I wanted to do something different with my life, and while it's still not my dream job being an auxiliar, I feel much more fulfilled working long term with a group of students then subbing in their classroom a few times a year.

I didn't think I could stay healthy

For anyone that has ever known me I'm a food-iac.  I love food, love eating, and worse have a killer sweet tooth.  On the other hand though, I also love to workout and stay physically active, but have the vice that I easily get overwhelmed by pressure and nap when I should be sweating.  While in school I was able to keep up the tentative balance, but was never quite happy with my health regime.  Regardless, I was worried that I would be able to break old unhealthy patterns, hmm dessert you say?, and that I wouldn't be able to afford to have healthy meals.

May not look like much, but stuffed eggplants!

So I started to learn how to cook and the beauty that is moderation.  In the U.S. the food was a little more difficult because fresh fruit and vegetables can be so expensive, but here in Spain fresh produce is my cheapest purchase.  I've taken my health into my own hands by constantly searching for new healthy ways to cook the food I love.  I've also started to tap into Spanish foods with my Christmas gift of a Spanish cook-book which is full of vegtables and fruits.  Overall the most important thing I've learned is that while we eat to fuel our bodies, we also eat to enjoy.  Between using fresh ingredients, cooking from scratch, and moderation I have stayed healthy and happy post-college.  Not to mention staying active is now as easy as searching fitness on pinterest!

I thought my university would always be home

I was not the stereotypical college student, I spent more time with my friends off campus than on, but it still felt like home to me.  And with friends still left behind, I thought that feeling would never change for me.  Especially since my campus was fifteen minutes away from and I practically grew up on the campus.  Instead, I found that from the moment I stepped back on campus that it wasn't home anymore.  

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I was working six days a week and while I was worried about bills and going to bed on time, my friends were talking about parties and their classes.  I found that except for a few close friends, I couldn't relate to the people I had once hung out with anymore, or the goals that had for their lives at that moment.  Everytime I returned to campus I just felt more and more like an outsider looking in and one night when I walked past my old dorm, and saw a light on in my old room, it became clear that I no longer belonged there.  And wouldn't again.  At first I was sad, but it gave me the push I needed to move out of my comfort levels.  My old college may no longer be my home, but that didn't mean I had to lose my friends or the memories I would take with me.

I didn't think I could afford my loans

Oh student loans, why must you be so expensive?  They're were one of the most daunting things about graduating.  I just remember thinking helpless, how would I ever be able to pay them back?  But then again, I'm a proactive person and spent my senior year working two jobs on top of my studies to save money.  When my grace period was over I had already saved enough money to make the payments of my first year of loans.  And last year I saved up enough money to make the payments for two more years.

Mini-Plaza Mayor at Parque Europa

Don't get me wrong, it was a lot more work then you may think, I had to sacrifice a lot of time and things that I wanted. But thanks to that work I have been able to travel and make it to Spain this year (and afford my loans).  Yes, student loans are expensive, and a nuisance, and...you get the picture.  But they don't have to be impossible.  With planning and hard work, you can beat your loan payments and enjoy your life.  If you need some help making sense of your loans, read my post about dealing with student loan debt.

I thought I would be near my friends

This has been one of the hardest pills to swallow about going to a college near my house, and moving abroad to Spain (both with my friends from high school and college).  My friends are some of the most important people in my life and I thought I would be able to keep up our girl's nights and general adventures.  Post-college and having moved away I feel like I have to start all over again.  I feel like I'm back in high school, or a freshman in college trying to find new people I can connect with (particularly hard if you're introvert that does a poor awkward job at pretending to be an extrovert).

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But the hards thing has been that being so far away means I have missed a lot, of both the good and the bad.  I can't be there to congratulate my friends on the new job or comfort them when a loved one has passed away.  Even with skype, facebook, email, and whatsapp I'm not a part of their lives like we used to be.  I feel like I'm in a long distance relationship all over again, but this time with my friends.  While it's not easy, I've learned that the friendships (like all types of relationships) will remain strong if all parties want it to work and the effort is made to stay in touch.  Thanks technology!

I didn't think I could travel

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that post-college I would be able to travel, let alone live abroad.  Believe me when I say it hasn't always been an easy path, but for me it has been worth all that I've had to given up.  And when I say give up, I mean all those little things that we have been told we need to be able survive: the newest clothes, the latest technology, a big house, new car, etc.  And if those things make you happy, there's nothing wrong with that.  I know plently of people who look at what I'm doing with my life and wouldn't feel happy or fulfilled.

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But if you're like me, and traveling is your dream, then anything is possible.  Maybe I don't have the nicest phone or laptop, maybe I don't have designer clothes or expensive accessories, I have a great experience and great memories.  I can say "Remember that time we rented an apartment in the center of Paris and could see the eiffel tower from our balcony?" or "Remember that time I celebrated my birthday in Pamplona at the Running of the Bulls?" or even "Remember that time I fell up a crowded metro escalator with all my luggage trying to make a plane to Sevilla on time?" (true story, complete wipe out).  And those memories, even the embarrassing, are for me worth giving up all those little things.

How has the post-college life met your expectations?

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Common Life After College Myths Debunked

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If any of you recent grads out there were like me this time last year then you probably are A) freaking out about what you'll do in the Fall or B) wondering if your new career/education/life choice is the right one for you.  You're finally having that realization that this isn't just a regular summer break, you've graduated and won't be going back to life as usual come September.

Life after college can be a very emotional time where you're unsure of who you are and what you want.  Navigating these murky waters can be equal parts exciting, confusing, and frustrating.  I'm sure many of you had an idea in your head of what life after college would be, whether good or bad, and I'm sure many more of you have been surprised at how different it can be from your expectations.

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There are many stereotypes that are perpetuated about life after college and after hearing all these myths myself in my first year after college I'm here to debunk some of the most common from my personal experience.

*[Please remember that these are my personal experiences and they are not a cookie-cutter for all college graduates, we all have different experiences with our lives after college.  I would love to hear about your own experiences in the comments section!]

You'll Have Your Life Completely Sorted Out and Know Exactly What You're Meant to Do

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One myth that I definitely felt forced on me was this one, and particularly by those of my parents' generation.  It was always the same dreaded question: "So what are you going to do in the Fall?".  AH!  I just wanted to scream that I didn't know yet.  This feeling that once you graduate you should have everything planned is very stressful for many new graduates who really feel the pressure to have their life sorted out.

Maybe our parents' generation was that way.  Maybe they were able to leave school and come out with a job, but it's not so simple now.  But more and more people are going to college and an undergraduate degree may not be enough to set you apart from the sea of all the other job seekers.  We feel a lot of pressure to leave school knowing what we want to do and having opportunities lined up.

When I graduated I had only been hired for one district as a substitute teacher.  It wasn't until the end of August/beginning of September that I was offered the after-school position and hired at two other districts; incredibly last minutes!

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The reality is that we are young adults, we are humans, and we are not fixed.  Who we are changes, what we want changes.  Most of us leave college still very unsure about who we are as people and what we want to do with our lives.  If you are unsure about what you'll do in the Fall or what you've chosen to do in the Fall, don't let it get to you.  We are young and being unsure is the norm.  It's perfectly okay to not be 100% about your future, that's what this time of your life is about.  It's about trying different things, experimenting, and finding out who you are and what you want out of life.  Embrace it and learn to love your life after college!

You'll Quickly Find a Well Paying Job in Your Field, That's What a Degree is For Right?

Some of you may have been lucky and have found a great paying job in your career, but for the rest of us it's probably not so easy.  I remember when I first graduated last May knowing that my state had a bad job market for elementary school teachers, but it couldn't be that bad...right?  Um, wrong.  I started applying to teaching jobs confident in my abilities, I had won awards for my student teaching and worked in classrooms for years, but it wasn't enough.

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I got e-mails saying that over 400 people had applied to nearly each position where I had submitted an application.  Needless to say I didn't get my dream job my first year after college, in fact I didn't get any full-time job.  Instead I took multiple part-time jobs that were in my career.  They may have not been what I wanted, but they gave me the invaluable real-world career experience that I needed.  I didn't get rich quick, but thanks to being a smart spender and having a budget in place I have saved enough for moving to Spain with the Auxiliares de Conversación program this Fall.  The point is, you probably won't get your dream job right away, but you can still find something in your career and if you're a smart saver can still make plenty of money.

You'll Be Stuck in a Terrible Job That You'll Hate

On the other hand of the previous extreme is that you'll have a terrible job that you'll hate.  Chances are you won't have a nightmarish job, and if by some cruel turn of fate you do, remember that this first post-graduate job is not the position you'll have for the remainder of your life!  Even in the current job market there are other, jobs out there if you land one you can't stand.  Maybe you need to expand your job criteria, think outside the box about how you can apply your skills or if need be, relocate to a different area.  Teaching jobs in Rhode Island are scarce and I've looked into my options for getting my teaching certificate in other states as a possibility.

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So yes, I didn't get my dream job, and yes, I didn't make tens of thousands, but I don't hate my jobs.  They may not be perfect but are at least in my chosen field (which I absolutely love!) and I'm constantly gaining more experience.  Don't panic over your first post-graduate job experience.  Try to get as much experience and knowledge you can and if you still absolutely hate it find something else.  Life is too short to spend it stuck in a job that you are miserable in.  There are always possibilities out there, you may just have to look harder for some of them.

Living at Home as a New Graduate is the End of the World

Like most American college graduates, I lived away from home while in college and was not looking forward to the move back home after graduation.  You've spent the past few years finally gaining your independence and freedom to be brought back home feeling like it almost never happened.  While it may feel like the end of the world, it really isn't.  If your parents or family allows you to move back home, especially rent free, I highly suggest you take them up on their kindness.

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It may not seem ideal for you, you may want to try and push yourself out into the 'real-world', but with the money you will be saving on rent you can use this opportunity to save a substantial amount of money to help pay down your student loans and establish yourself in the future.  Along with this savings boost, living at home can give you time to sort out your goals and aspirations without risking a financial loss.  Living at home helped me save thousands that I was able to put towards moving to Spain this Fall.  And if you're afraid about losing your independence talk with your family about what you all want and need from the living arrangement.  They may be surprisingly accommodating, after all they were your age once before.

You'll Never be Able to Pay Off Your Student Loans or Afford Anything Ever Again

This fear of daunting student loan payments goes hand and hand with the financial benefits of moving back home.  Some people may rack up student loan debt without thinking about it and some may not have any other way to afford college, but the need to repay what was borrowed remains the same.  They can be very confusing and it can quickly seem impossible to make sense of your student loans.  However, I promise that if you know as much as you can about your loans they will be much less scary.

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What many new graduates may not realize is that lenders can be understanding and there may be programs in place to help make your student loan payments more affordable like: payment plans, interest rate deductions, etc.  All you have to do is ask!  It may take a while to pay off your loans, depending on how much you owe and if you reduce payments, but it is possible and one day you will.  And having student loan payments doesn't mean you have to sacrifice all enjoyment in your life.  You can still have money for things like: entertainment, shopping, and travel.  You'll just have to work hard and sort your priorities; decide what is important to you and your life.  Just remember that student loans are not the end of the world either!

You'll Have No Social Life and No Friends

This one is tough because it does have some truth in it.  Working full-time makes it harder to have the social life that most college graduates are used to, and it is much harder to keep the friends you had in college as well as meet new ones.  You will have as many breaks or time off as you did in school, but it doesn't mean you can't go out or enjoy your life as it is now (which I think is pretty fun, hello classy wine tastings!).  Instead of having free time during the day you'll have to utilize your nights and weekends, which can be hard for friends still in college because you'll be running on different time schedules, but it is possible.

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And now that you're out of school you are probably further away from your college friends, but it's always possible to bridge the gap in a long-distance relationship (ideas whether romantic or between friends!).  It will require more work to keep these friendships strong, but you'll start to see who are the friends worth putting the effort into and which friends are better left in your college days.  And as for making new friends, it can also be challenging post-college.  You no longer have clubs or classes to meet new people and may not work in an environment with people, but like most things isn't impossible.  You can make new friends and survive life after college by getting involved in your community and joining groups with people who have similar interests.

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Put yourself out there and you will surely find interesting people that have the potential to be life long friends.  I love my life after college and love the group of friends I've retained, and the new ones I've made.  College may be over, but this is the start of the rest of your life.  It's all about what you make of it.


And for those of you who need a laugh via Buzzfeed: Enter the Real World: Expectations vs. Reality. Enjoy.

What has your life after college been like?  Have you found any of these 'myths' to be a reality in your personal experience?

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Learning to Love Life After College

Loving life after college, is that even possible?

My friends who recently graduated are quick to ask me: "So do you like life after college?",  "Do you ever miss being in college?"  And I can honestly say that yes I do like my life post-college and no I don't miss being in college.  Let me repeat.  I really, really like being a college graduate.

But don't take this as meaning that my transition into my 'new' life was seamless.  Last year I postponed my post-grad blues by traveling for the summer, but upon my return (and seeing my younger friends still in college) I had quite the case of blues.  I was mourning my time in college being over and feeling like I didn't even know who I was anymore.  For all of my young life I had been able to define myself as a student.  As a college graduate I couldn't introduce myself as 'an elementary education major,' but I wasn't quite a teacher yet...so who was I?

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A few months ago I wrote a post about surviving life after college, and I can honestly say that it is more than possible to not only survive but thrive in your new life after college.  If you're having a hard time adjusting to this huge change, here are some awesome reasons I've found from my first year after graduation of why you should start loving your life after college:

You're Beginning to Define the Real You

You're no longer a student or an aspiring author/nurse/doctor/psychologist/engineer/teacher.  Instead you are becoming that author, nurse, or teacher.  You are constantly defining yourself with every decision and opportunity you take, and how you deal with the experiences you are dealt.  Maybe you don't have your dream job yet, but what are you doing to work towards that goal?  Great opportunities and experiences may not always be job opportunities and your job does not define you.  Consider: volunteering, interning, taking courses, picking up a new hobby, learning something new, travel.  When it comes down to it do you want to be defined as the person sitting at home on the couch, or putting themselves out there and making the best out of your new life?

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I may not have my dream teaching job, but I haven't let it get me down.  Instead I found a way to gain some kind of experience in my field networking and build connections.  Now I'll even be moving abroad to experience and learn about another culture (lucky for me it's teaching English and is still in my chosen field of education!).  So while I may not have the title of 'teacher' to define me, I'm finding that I've had the freedom post-college to be who I really want to be.

You Can Do What Interests You

I may work seemingly non-stop, but I've found that outside of college I still have way more free time to pursue what interests me.  No one is telling me I need to squeeze in extra courses to graduate on time, I don't have to write papers, take exams, or do excessive amounts of homework.  Instead, I can learn and do what I want to.  When I was in college I can't remember the last time I was able to read something just for my enjoyment, usually it would have to wait for one of my vacation periods.  Now I can finally catch up on my reading list (subsequently full of books and novels on/about Spain), work on my knitting skills, improve my foreign language proficiency, and pursue many of the things that I just never had time for in college.

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Independence

Now I don't pretend that I have complete independence at the moment, but definitely more than in college.  I do live at home with my mom, but I must help clean more than just my own dorm space, help cook family meals, take care of my finances, etc. and I love it all.  I love cooking my own food and have become a much better cook because of it.  I can whip up my own sauces, can make things from scratch, and know how to balance healthy meals.  Also, taking care of my student loans on my own has given me a sense of independence.  Keeping track of payments and making sure they're always paid on time has really been empowering, letting me know that yes I can do it myself.

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Many recent college graduates may be forced to move back home with their families, but it doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your independence.  If you find yourself in this situation talk with your family.  Discuss the boundaries you all want and what you each need from each other.  As I plan to move abroad in the Fall I definitely feel more prepared coming with a year out of college under my belt, even if I was living at home.

I Finally Have Some Money (keyword. some.)

I'm definitely not rich (haha rich, that's a joke right?), but working full-time and not having to pay all those college fees anymore means for once I actually have some money.  Granted it's all going to me being in Spain next year...but at least I have it, right?  The point is that even if you have to work multiple (often poorly paying) part-time jobs you can still make ends meet.  If you're like most college graduates, you won't be wealthy straight out of the gate, but once you're out of college and working full time you absolutely can work your way up to financial stability.  It all depends on how willing you are to work your butt off, if you have a budget that works for your life and needs, and if you know the ins and outs of your student loans/debt.  Even if your dream also happens to be working abroad and traveling the world (which can be affordable to all!).

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My Tips for Loving Your Life After College (From Experience):

Spend Time With Friends

College friends, high school friends, new friends.  It doesn't matter.  You don't have to sacrifice a social life to be an 'adult.'  Keep in mind though that: no not all of your friends will stay when you move onto this next stage of your life and yes it's much harder to make friends out of college.  Instead you will find out who's worth keeping in your life; maybe you won't have tons of friends but you'll keep the handful that matters.  And while it may be more difficult to make new friends, it's not impossible.  Put yourself out there, get involved, and try knew experiences where you can meet potential new friends.

Get Involved

Always a beautiful night at WaterFire,

If you're feeling lonely in your new life get involved in your community and organizations that you feel passionate about.  When your job has group activities for bonding try to go for the experience.  If that's not your thing or you don't work with employees your own age, research how you can get involved through community groups or volunteering.  I volunteer with WaterFire Providence because keeping the arts alive is something I feel passionate about.  Getting involved in something interesting/important to you can: help make your life rewarding, help make networking connections, look great on resumes, and help you in your quest to build new friendships.

Learn Something New

Improved my knitting and taught myself to crochet.

Just because you are done with college doesn't mean you should stop learning!  Visit your local library and browse the stacks for something that has always interested you.  Want to learn a new language?  Look at what resources you can find to become bilingual, or even multilingual!  Attend public lectures at your local university, see what community courses you can take, pick up a hobby, etc.  If you're looking to broaden your horizons and continue enriching your life, then the possibilities are endless.

Fit in Exercise

What's a better workout than sledding?

Always try to make time for exercise in your life.  Try to create a regular workout routine because keeping physically active in the long run will make you healthier and happier.  I personally find it easier to workout right when I get out of work in the evening because I'm much more motivated when I'm already out of my house and moving.  What has also helped me establish a routine has been taking a scheduled exercise class where I'm expected on a weekly basis.  Making physical activity a regular part of my life has not only made me happy and healthy, but in the best shape I've ever been.  There's always a way to sneak physical activity into your routine, whether it be parking further away and taking the stairs or hitting up the gym.

Learn How to Cook Healthy Meals

Delicious home-cooked
Spanish food

This is something I feel very strongly about, because not only will learning how to cook save you so much money, but knowing how to cook healthy, well-balanced meals is an invaluable skill that you will use for the rest of your life.  Thanks to the internet there are so many free resources at your fingertips you can use to get creative with recipes and cater to the tastes you prefer.  Your body, taste buds, and health will all thank you for learning how to make some delicious wholesome home-cooked meals.  (Not to mention it's a great way to impress your friends and family!)

Chocolate cupcakes with Peanut Butter Frosting from scratch...
ok this isn't that healthy, but it's delicious!

Live it Up-Always Look to Expand Your Horizons

Never think that just because you graduated college that your life is over.  No matter what your age, it's never too late to expand your horizons and live your life to the fullest.  If you're truly unsatisfied with your life, don't settle.  If you want something different, make that change.  Life is short and it's not worth wasting it being unhappy.  My grandmother always told me: "When one door closes, another opens."  College may be over, but you have this new wonderful door opening up to the rest of your life.  It all depends on what you do when you step outside.

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How have you learned to love your life after college?  What advice do you have for new graduates?

Graduation: My Thoughts One Year Later

Wow.  I can't believe that it's been one full year since I walked across the stage at my graduation.

Just a year ago I saw this banner across Upper College Road and realized, oh.  I'm a college graduate!

This past weekend has been one full of graduations, as I watch my friends and family take this giant step for themselves.  As I watched them with pride I've asked myself, how has this year changed me?  Do I feel any different?  Where has the time gone?

I've accomplished much in this past year; I've grown as a person, met my goals, made life changing decisions...yet I feel little difference.  I guest that's not entirely true, I'm much happier post-college, but as a whole I feel quite unchanged; I feel no wiser nor more grown-up.

I thought I would feel 'it' when I picked up my cap and gown last spring.  But I felt nothing.  I thought, I must have to wait until I moved out of my dorm for the last time.  But that just felt no different then going on summer break.

So it had to be the day of graduation as I officially donned the cap and gown with my 2012 tassels.  Nope.  When I walked across the stage?  When I threw my cap in the air?  When I got home after the ceremony!?

And now, a year later it still doesn't really feel like much.  I'm merely surprised that instead of "Congratulations to the Class of 2012," I see "Congratulations to the Class of 2013."

(Granted the whole of graduation day was miserable.  All (but one) of my best friends, including my boyfriend, were unable to attend; my finishing his own senior year back in Spain, one was in England, another in China, one stuck in New Jersey, another in Spain, and one at her own graduation in Maine.  To make matters worse I couldn't afford the honor cord for my honor society and was too proud to have my loved ones pay for it.  And then the icing on the cake was when they pronounced my name wrong as I walked across the stage.  Oh well.

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So the day itself was a bust...but I should have felt something after right?  Some sense of accomplishment?  I mean I had won multiple awards for my student teaching, paid my way through most of the four years myself, and graduated with honors in a double major while working multiple jobs every year.  While you should feel a sense of pride and accomplishment at graduation, because through your hard-work you have done something amazing, you most likely won't have an epiphany after walking across that stage.  In fact to me, it almost felt anti-climatic.  That it's?  I've graduated?  Now what?

Graduation day will come and go, and the whole summer will pass after you walked across that stage and you won't feel much different.  Then September rolls around and all your friends that didn't graduate are heading back to school.  You'll see those statuses of them hanging out together late at night, going for impromptu drinks, going out to parties, weekend getaways, complaints about classes or professors, and the latest campus gossip.  You'll watch as they post pictures doing the things you used to do, attending the events you used to attend, and participating in the organizations you used to be a part of.

You should feel relieved; no more college drama, no more coursework, no more gen. eds., no more dorm rooms, no more exams, or all nighters.  But you don't think like that.

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It hits you, not that you've taken this huge step forward in your life, but that you are stuck in limbo.  You don't belong to the life you had before, but you're still on the cusp of the adult world and don't really fit in there either.  As you watch you friends live their college lives from this glass divide you'll miss the freedom and sense of community you once had back in college.  You'll miss feeling included and knowing there was always a place for you.  Many of those college 'friends' won't last long as you move on from your studies.  They'll be living their life on their college schedule and for many it just won't work with your post-college life.

You'll feel totally unprepared for the real world and its expectations.  All of my teaching experiences, teaching courses, and practicums did not prepare me for my first day of substitute teaching.  For walking into a classroom in a school you don't know, full of students you don't know, to teach lessons from a teacher that you just. do. not. know.  I was terrified.  I was unprepared.  Did I really want to be a teacher?  It was then as I walked into that strange classroom, months after graduation, that I realized I was unsure of what I wanted to do with my life.

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No one told me that I still would be unsure; you're supposed to know these things after you graduate right?  Now some of you may have jobs lined up, some may be going off to graduate school, but the rest of us.  What do we do now?

Let me tell you a secret all you new graduates, one that would have saved me a lot of tears and anxiety.  The truth is that it's perfectly okay and absolutely normal to walk off that stage and not know what to do next.  Nobody, other than yourself, expects you to have the entirety of your future planned out so soon.

The reality is that you may (most likely will) not get your dream job for a very long time.  The job market is still not at its best and it really is hard to find to find a steady, well-paying job for new graduates.  I applied for multiple teaching jobs only to find out that over 300 people applied for each of them too.  And why would they hire people with such little real-life experience?  This can be a hard pill to swallow, after all that's why you got that degree; to get that big kid job you've dreamed of.  Just know you are not the only one struggling with this.  Try your best not to feel bitter or unaccomplished, especially if you know some young friend who scores their dream job right away.  Here you are, working multiple part-time jobs trying to make ends meet while you budget your heart out and try to make sense of all your student loans.  At this point you're probably well into those post-grad blues; wondering why was graduation good in the first place?

BUT

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Did you really enjoy college that much?  How quickly you've forgtten how much you hated most of your classes and couldn't stand all those exams and homework that seemed so pointless.  And those friends who lose contact with you because you have different schedules, they weren't the important ones anyway.  Your true friends will always try to make your schedules work and even if it takes months to find the time, you'll realize that once you're reunited nothing has changed between you.  I don't miss college.  Sure I miss the freedom, having my friends so near, and the memories I've made.  Yeah I get nostalgic when I visit certain parts of campus now, but do I miss the actual college part?  You know studying, interning, classes, homework, pleasing professors? No, just the comfort and security college offered; as a baby blanket is to the child afraid of the dark unknown.


And of course you will feel unprepared!  Only real experience can truly prepare you.  You have to throw yourself out there, fall down, and pick yourself back up again to truly be prepared for the real world.  Turns out that first substitute job that I was so terrified over reaffirmed my life decision.  But would I have known that if I hadn't graduated?  I've learned far more about teaching in this past year of substitute teaching than I have learned in any practicum experience I had in college.  Throwing myself out there made me realize I didn't need that baby blanket, I didn't need the protection of being in college.  I could do this on my own and I have so much more to learn with the years of experience to come.

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And those first jobs you so eagerly applied to but didn't get...so what?  You're young and you have years upon years to work that big kid job.  If you can find a job that relates in any way, shape, or form to what you want to do with your life, snatch it up.  If you can't, then find any job that pays the bills, work your butt off, and apply like crazy to jobs you want.  And if neither apply, well than save up some money and live your dreams; travel the world, do what you've always wanted, live your life.  It probably wasn't your dream job anyway.

So yes.  Graduating college is scary.  You'll feel uncertain and unprepared, and maybe like me you won't feel anything for the longest time.  The change to yourself comes slowly; over time, over experiencing the new exciting (yet often scary) things of the adult world.  You won't know you're changing, you won't feel a bit different.  But you'll get out there and start to realize post-college life is not so bad.  You'll make mistakes and learn from them.  You'll have jobs you'll love and jobs you hate.  But always remember, don't settle for anything if it makes you unhappy.  You will survive this.  You're young and (most of us) have so few real responsibilities holdings us back.  So take advantage of that, take a leap of faith, and live so that when you look years back from now you won't regret how you spent that youth.

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So back to me a year after graduation.  I knew after sacrificing so much to be able to afford college I had to take advantage of my youth and my desire to travel, so I applied to teach abroad.  I will officially be moving to Spain this fall to teach English as an English assistant in Madrid with the government program Auxiliares de Conversación.  BEDA contacted me recently on the wait-list to see if I was still interested in available positions, but I said no thank you.  While it seems like an amazing program, I'm a firm believer in that things happen if they're supposed to happen and everything is a learning experience.  I accepted Auxiliares and my decision just feels right.  And for the first time after graduation I am perfectly content not knowing exactly what my future holds.


So congratulations graduating class of 2013.  Don't let those post-grad blues get you down or make you doubt your passions.  Post-college life a heck of a ride, but I truly believe that as long as you follow your heart and do what makes you happy, you can make your ever-changing dreams a reality.  We can get through this together.  I leave you all with one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies:

"Carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary."-Robin Williams, Dead Poet's Society

What has your experience been like post-graduation?  How are you new graduates feeling?