Post-College Expectations Vs. Reality

Where have I been for the past few weeks?  Drilling Spanish children on what it means to be healthy or unhealthy? Yes. Over indulging in Spanish culture?  Maybe.  Ignoring blog world? Never.

The truth is that my computer suddenly decided it didn't love me anymore and now processes at a speed roughly slower than a snail/tortoise hybrid baby would.  While it "claims" there is no virus, I'm currently only able to add anything to my blog when the BF isn't using his computer (and with his Master's presentation this week, that time has been few and far between).

With that being said, it's also been a while since I've had a post more about dealing with life after college, instead of my current life abroad in Spain.  While this does happen to be my life after college, I understand that there are many who may come to this blog who aren't very interested in what I'm doing but are looking for advice in the process of leaving their college years behind.

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Well this one's for you guys.

Last year before I came to Spain I wrote a post called: Common Life After College Myths Debunked talking about some common myths I had heard, and some I felt, before graduating.  Now almost two years post-graduation (Seriously? One year after college was hard enough to process...) I'm realizing that all my own expectations and plans have changed, and not necessarily in a negative way.

I thought I would have a real job by now...

Yeah I know it wasn't a good market, and very few people were being hired...but I thought somehow I would be different.  Those statistics didn't apply to me, I had done well in all my student teaching practicums and even won awards, it may take a few tries I would be hired.  Wrong.  I still remember the first teaching jobs I applied to where over 400 people applied to the same position and I wasn't even called in for an interview.  I was heartbroken, like I wasn't a good enough teacher because I wasn't hired straight out of college.  

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But after I started substitute teaching  I began to realize that those statistics were there for a reason, and that I wasn't the only one trying to break into the education field.  There were so many subsitutes I met who had been struggling like this for nearly a decade!  And I finally realized that not having my dream job right away didn't mean I wasn't good enough, I had to define my own worth because no job would do that for me.  So I made up my mind that, that was the year I made the move to Spain.  I wanted to do something different with my life, and while it's still not my dream job being an auxiliar, I feel much more fulfilled working long term with a group of students then subbing in their classroom a few times a year.

I didn't think I could stay healthy

For anyone that has ever known me I'm a food-iac.  I love food, love eating, and worse have a killer sweet tooth.  On the other hand though, I also love to workout and stay physically active, but have the vice that I easily get overwhelmed by pressure and nap when I should be sweating.  While in school I was able to keep up the tentative balance, but was never quite happy with my health regime.  Regardless, I was worried that I would be able to break old unhealthy patterns, hmm dessert you say?, and that I wouldn't be able to afford to have healthy meals.

May not look like much, but stuffed eggplants!

So I started to learn how to cook and the beauty that is moderation.  In the U.S. the food was a little more difficult because fresh fruit and vegetables can be so expensive, but here in Spain fresh produce is my cheapest purchase.  I've taken my health into my own hands by constantly searching for new healthy ways to cook the food I love.  I've also started to tap into Spanish foods with my Christmas gift of a Spanish cook-book which is full of vegtables and fruits.  Overall the most important thing I've learned is that while we eat to fuel our bodies, we also eat to enjoy.  Between using fresh ingredients, cooking from scratch, and moderation I have stayed healthy and happy post-college.  Not to mention staying active is now as easy as searching fitness on pinterest!

I thought my university would always be home

I was not the stereotypical college student, I spent more time with my friends off campus than on, but it still felt like home to me.  And with friends still left behind, I thought that feeling would never change for me.  Especially since my campus was fifteen minutes away from and I practically grew up on the campus.  Instead, I found that from the moment I stepped back on campus that it wasn't home anymore.  

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I was working six days a week and while I was worried about bills and going to bed on time, my friends were talking about parties and their classes.  I found that except for a few close friends, I couldn't relate to the people I had once hung out with anymore, or the goals that had for their lives at that moment.  Everytime I returned to campus I just felt more and more like an outsider looking in and one night when I walked past my old dorm, and saw a light on in my old room, it became clear that I no longer belonged there.  And wouldn't again.  At first I was sad, but it gave me the push I needed to move out of my comfort levels.  My old college may no longer be my home, but that didn't mean I had to lose my friends or the memories I would take with me.

I didn't think I could afford my loans

Oh student loans, why must you be so expensive?  They're were one of the most daunting things about graduating.  I just remember thinking helpless, how would I ever be able to pay them back?  But then again, I'm a proactive person and spent my senior year working two jobs on top of my studies to save money.  When my grace period was over I had already saved enough money to make the payments of my first year of loans.  And last year I saved up enough money to make the payments for two more years.

Mini-Plaza Mayor at Parque Europa

Don't get me wrong, it was a lot more work then you may think, I had to sacrifice a lot of time and things that I wanted. But thanks to that work I have been able to travel and make it to Spain this year (and afford my loans).  Yes, student loans are expensive, and a nuisance, and...you get the picture.  But they don't have to be impossible.  With planning and hard work, you can beat your loan payments and enjoy your life.  If you need some help making sense of your loans, read my post about dealing with student loan debt.

I thought I would be near my friends

This has been one of the hardest pills to swallow about going to a college near my house, and moving abroad to Spain (both with my friends from high school and college).  My friends are some of the most important people in my life and I thought I would be able to keep up our girl's nights and general adventures.  Post-college and having moved away I feel like I have to start all over again.  I feel like I'm back in high school, or a freshman in college trying to find new people I can connect with (particularly hard if you're introvert that does a poor awkward job at pretending to be an extrovert).

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But the hards thing has been that being so far away means I have missed a lot, of both the good and the bad.  I can't be there to congratulate my friends on the new job or comfort them when a loved one has passed away.  Even with skype, facebook, email, and whatsapp I'm not a part of their lives like we used to be.  I feel like I'm in a long distance relationship all over again, but this time with my friends.  While it's not easy, I've learned that the friendships (like all types of relationships) will remain strong if all parties want it to work and the effort is made to stay in touch.  Thanks technology!

I didn't think I could travel

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that post-college I would be able to travel, let alone live abroad.  Believe me when I say it hasn't always been an easy path, but for me it has been worth all that I've had to given up.  And when I say give up, I mean all those little things that we have been told we need to be able survive: the newest clothes, the latest technology, a big house, new car, etc.  And if those things make you happy, there's nothing wrong with that.  I know plently of people who look at what I'm doing with my life and wouldn't feel happy or fulfilled.

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But if you're like me, and traveling is your dream, then anything is possible.  Maybe I don't have the nicest phone or laptop, maybe I don't have designer clothes or expensive accessories, I have a great experience and great memories.  I can say "Remember that time we rented an apartment in the center of Paris and could see the eiffel tower from our balcony?" or "Remember that time I celebrated my birthday in Pamplona at the Running of the Bulls?" or even "Remember that time I fell up a crowded metro escalator with all my luggage trying to make a plane to Sevilla on time?" (true story, complete wipe out).  And those memories, even the embarrassing, are for me worth giving up all those little things.

How has the post-college life met your expectations?

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Anxiety and Moving Abroad

I postponed this post a couple of days.  How do I write something so personal, something that I haven't even talked about with many of my friends?  Well after tonight (ugh dealing with airlines and extra-extra baggage fees) I realized that there are many people who may be dealing with the same issue and wanting to know they aren't alone.

I previously mentioned in my post What I'm Looking Forward To that sometimes I can push myself too hard when trying to practice my Spanish with my friends.  The truth of the matter is that it's much more than pushing myself 'too hard' and feeling upset.  Or getting anxious about things that seem relatively minor to most people.  To make a long story short: I have anxiety.  And not just "I'm-worried-about-moving-to-Spain anxiety," I mean the actual disorder, something I have lived with for years.

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Even as a child I dealt with anxiety: incessant worrying, insomnia, fainting spells, and hyperventilation.  As I grew up we just thought it was stress, mood swings, social pressure, etc.  I was so embarrassed: What if my friends found out?  What if I had an attack at school?  What would people think of me?  I struggled to hide it, doing my best to keep it together in public settings (far easier said than done), and it seemed to work...until I went to college.

I had far less privacy away at college and had less room to hide my anxiety.  It was then that my symptoms were finally diagnosed.  It was also in this time that I was lucky enough to meet people dealing with the same issues.  These amazing people helped me realize that having an anxiety disorder didn't mean something was wrong with me, and it didn't mean that it would control my life forever.  I could learn how to control my anxiety and I could live happily.  Through a healthy diet, regular exercise, a great support system, and training to think more positively I have over the past few years been able to help keep my symptoms at bay and turn my panic attacks into rare occurrences.

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So how does this affect my move to Spain?  Well funny you should ask, but one of my biggest anxiety triggers is change.  Even the smallest changes can set if off sometimes, e.g. driving to a place that's new to me.  Clearly the normal thing then to help my anxiety is to move 3,000+ miles to a country I've never lived in for more than a few months, and am not fluent in the native language?  <--Yeah right, who's this crazy chick.

Yes, I do have a great group of friends and my boyfriend in Spain, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about this choice.  I'm terrified.  This is the biggest change I've ever made in my entire life and I am putting myself right into a situation that is potentially the going to trigger my anxiety.  What if it does get out of control?  What if I can't handle it?

But that fear is exactly why I want, no have to, make this move.  I want to push myself.  I do love Spain very much, but mainly I want this move to prove to myself that I can do this.  To prove to myself that I control my anxiety, my life, and my happiness.  And with this move to Spain in less than a week I know that this is the right choice, even if I know I will face many moments where I will be anxious, confused, and scared.  But anxiety aside, I'm sure many others making a similar change or move are feeling or worried about feeling these same emotions.  And that's okay.

There's nothing wrong with being anxious, confused, or scared.  We are young and allowed to make big changes and be unsure of ourselves.  It's okay to take a step out into the world and not be sure if it's the right choice.  This is the time of your life to make big changes and question who you are and what you're doing.

And most importantly it's okay to be different.  I used to be ashamed of being different, embarrassed of how people would look at me, and apologetic when they witnessed me in moments of panic I struggled to control.  Now I realize that anxiety is just part of my life and that by making this move abroad, I can show others also suffering through similar anxiety that you can push yourself and succeed.  You can take a giant leap into the unknown and feel scared, and things will turn out just fine.  Don't let your fears, or anxiety, keep you from facing your living your life.

What are your feelings on the big changes in your life?  How do you feel about these next steps?

Learning to Love Life After College

Loving life after college, is that even possible?

My friends who recently graduated are quick to ask me: "So do you like life after college?",  "Do you ever miss being in college?"  And I can honestly say that yes I do like my life post-college and no I don't miss being in college.  Let me repeat.  I really, really like being a college graduate.

But don't take this as meaning that my transition into my 'new' life was seamless.  Last year I postponed my post-grad blues by traveling for the summer, but upon my return (and seeing my younger friends still in college) I had quite the case of blues.  I was mourning my time in college being over and feeling like I didn't even know who I was anymore.  For all of my young life I had been able to define myself as a student.  As a college graduate I couldn't introduce myself as 'an elementary education major,' but I wasn't quite a teacher yet...so who was I?

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A few months ago I wrote a post about surviving life after college, and I can honestly say that it is more than possible to not only survive but thrive in your new life after college.  If you're having a hard time adjusting to this huge change, here are some awesome reasons I've found from my first year after graduation of why you should start loving your life after college:

You're Beginning to Define the Real You

You're no longer a student or an aspiring author/nurse/doctor/psychologist/engineer/teacher.  Instead you are becoming that author, nurse, or teacher.  You are constantly defining yourself with every decision and opportunity you take, and how you deal with the experiences you are dealt.  Maybe you don't have your dream job yet, but what are you doing to work towards that goal?  Great opportunities and experiences may not always be job opportunities and your job does not define you.  Consider: volunteering, interning, taking courses, picking up a new hobby, learning something new, travel.  When it comes down to it do you want to be defined as the person sitting at home on the couch, or putting themselves out there and making the best out of your new life?

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I may not have my dream teaching job, but I haven't let it get me down.  Instead I found a way to gain some kind of experience in my field networking and build connections.  Now I'll even be moving abroad to experience and learn about another culture (lucky for me it's teaching English and is still in my chosen field of education!).  So while I may not have the title of 'teacher' to define me, I'm finding that I've had the freedom post-college to be who I really want to be.

You Can Do What Interests You

I may work seemingly non-stop, but I've found that outside of college I still have way more free time to pursue what interests me.  No one is telling me I need to squeeze in extra courses to graduate on time, I don't have to write papers, take exams, or do excessive amounts of homework.  Instead, I can learn and do what I want to.  When I was in college I can't remember the last time I was able to read something just for my enjoyment, usually it would have to wait for one of my vacation periods.  Now I can finally catch up on my reading list (subsequently full of books and novels on/about Spain), work on my knitting skills, improve my foreign language proficiency, and pursue many of the things that I just never had time for in college.

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Independence

Now I don't pretend that I have complete independence at the moment, but definitely more than in college.  I do live at home with my mom, but I must help clean more than just my own dorm space, help cook family meals, take care of my finances, etc. and I love it all.  I love cooking my own food and have become a much better cook because of it.  I can whip up my own sauces, can make things from scratch, and know how to balance healthy meals.  Also, taking care of my student loans on my own has given me a sense of independence.  Keeping track of payments and making sure they're always paid on time has really been empowering, letting me know that yes I can do it myself.

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Many recent college graduates may be forced to move back home with their families, but it doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your independence.  If you find yourself in this situation talk with your family.  Discuss the boundaries you all want and what you each need from each other.  As I plan to move abroad in the Fall I definitely feel more prepared coming with a year out of college under my belt, even if I was living at home.

I Finally Have Some Money (keyword. some.)

I'm definitely not rich (haha rich, that's a joke right?), but working full-time and not having to pay all those college fees anymore means for once I actually have some money.  Granted it's all going to me being in Spain next year...but at least I have it, right?  The point is that even if you have to work multiple (often poorly paying) part-time jobs you can still make ends meet.  If you're like most college graduates, you won't be wealthy straight out of the gate, but once you're out of college and working full time you absolutely can work your way up to financial stability.  It all depends on how willing you are to work your butt off, if you have a budget that works for your life and needs, and if you know the ins and outs of your student loans/debt.  Even if your dream also happens to be working abroad and traveling the world (which can be affordable to all!).

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My Tips for Loving Your Life After College (From Experience):

Spend Time With Friends

College friends, high school friends, new friends.  It doesn't matter.  You don't have to sacrifice a social life to be an 'adult.'  Keep in mind though that: no not all of your friends will stay when you move onto this next stage of your life and yes it's much harder to make friends out of college.  Instead you will find out who's worth keeping in your life; maybe you won't have tons of friends but you'll keep the handful that matters.  And while it may be more difficult to make new friends, it's not impossible.  Put yourself out there, get involved, and try knew experiences where you can meet potential new friends.

Get Involved

Always a beautiful night at WaterFire,

If you're feeling lonely in your new life get involved in your community and organizations that you feel passionate about.  When your job has group activities for bonding try to go for the experience.  If that's not your thing or you don't work with employees your own age, research how you can get involved through community groups or volunteering.  I volunteer with WaterFire Providence because keeping the arts alive is something I feel passionate about.  Getting involved in something interesting/important to you can: help make your life rewarding, help make networking connections, look great on resumes, and help you in your quest to build new friendships.

Learn Something New

Improved my knitting and taught myself to crochet.

Just because you are done with college doesn't mean you should stop learning!  Visit your local library and browse the stacks for something that has always interested you.  Want to learn a new language?  Look at what resources you can find to become bilingual, or even multilingual!  Attend public lectures at your local university, see what community courses you can take, pick up a hobby, etc.  If you're looking to broaden your horizons and continue enriching your life, then the possibilities are endless.

Fit in Exercise

What's a better workout than sledding?

Always try to make time for exercise in your life.  Try to create a regular workout routine because keeping physically active in the long run will make you healthier and happier.  I personally find it easier to workout right when I get out of work in the evening because I'm much more motivated when I'm already out of my house and moving.  What has also helped me establish a routine has been taking a scheduled exercise class where I'm expected on a weekly basis.  Making physical activity a regular part of my life has not only made me happy and healthy, but in the best shape I've ever been.  There's always a way to sneak physical activity into your routine, whether it be parking further away and taking the stairs or hitting up the gym.

Learn How to Cook Healthy Meals

Delicious home-cooked
Spanish food

This is something I feel very strongly about, because not only will learning how to cook save you so much money, but knowing how to cook healthy, well-balanced meals is an invaluable skill that you will use for the rest of your life.  Thanks to the internet there are so many free resources at your fingertips you can use to get creative with recipes and cater to the tastes you prefer.  Your body, taste buds, and health will all thank you for learning how to make some delicious wholesome home-cooked meals.  (Not to mention it's a great way to impress your friends and family!)

Chocolate cupcakes with Peanut Butter Frosting from scratch...
ok this isn't that healthy, but it's delicious!

Live it Up-Always Look to Expand Your Horizons

Never think that just because you graduated college that your life is over.  No matter what your age, it's never too late to expand your horizons and live your life to the fullest.  If you're truly unsatisfied with your life, don't settle.  If you want something different, make that change.  Life is short and it's not worth wasting it being unhappy.  My grandmother always told me: "When one door closes, another opens."  College may be over, but you have this new wonderful door opening up to the rest of your life.  It all depends on what you do when you step outside.

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How have you learned to love your life after college?  What advice do you have for new graduates?

Graduation: My Thoughts One Year Later

Wow.  I can't believe that it's been one full year since I walked across the stage at my graduation.

Just a year ago I saw this banner across Upper College Road and realized, oh.  I'm a college graduate!

This past weekend has been one full of graduations, as I watch my friends and family take this giant step for themselves.  As I watched them with pride I've asked myself, how has this year changed me?  Do I feel any different?  Where has the time gone?

I've accomplished much in this past year; I've grown as a person, met my goals, made life changing decisions...yet I feel little difference.  I guest that's not entirely true, I'm much happier post-college, but as a whole I feel quite unchanged; I feel no wiser nor more grown-up.

I thought I would feel 'it' when I picked up my cap and gown last spring.  But I felt nothing.  I thought, I must have to wait until I moved out of my dorm for the last time.  But that just felt no different then going on summer break.

So it had to be the day of graduation as I officially donned the cap and gown with my 2012 tassels.  Nope.  When I walked across the stage?  When I threw my cap in the air?  When I got home after the ceremony!?

And now, a year later it still doesn't really feel like much.  I'm merely surprised that instead of "Congratulations to the Class of 2012," I see "Congratulations to the Class of 2013."

(Granted the whole of graduation day was miserable.  All (but one) of my best friends, including my boyfriend, were unable to attend; my finishing his own senior year back in Spain, one was in England, another in China, one stuck in New Jersey, another in Spain, and one at her own graduation in Maine.  To make matters worse I couldn't afford the honor cord for my honor society and was too proud to have my loved ones pay for it.  And then the icing on the cake was when they pronounced my name wrong as I walked across the stage.  Oh well.

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So the day itself was a bust...but I should have felt something after right?  Some sense of accomplishment?  I mean I had won multiple awards for my student teaching, paid my way through most of the four years myself, and graduated with honors in a double major while working multiple jobs every year.  While you should feel a sense of pride and accomplishment at graduation, because through your hard-work you have done something amazing, you most likely won't have an epiphany after walking across that stage.  In fact to me, it almost felt anti-climatic.  That it's?  I've graduated?  Now what?

Graduation day will come and go, and the whole summer will pass after you walked across that stage and you won't feel much different.  Then September rolls around and all your friends that didn't graduate are heading back to school.  You'll see those statuses of them hanging out together late at night, going for impromptu drinks, going out to parties, weekend getaways, complaints about classes or professors, and the latest campus gossip.  You'll watch as they post pictures doing the things you used to do, attending the events you used to attend, and participating in the organizations you used to be a part of.

You should feel relieved; no more college drama, no more coursework, no more gen. eds., no more dorm rooms, no more exams, or all nighters.  But you don't think like that.

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It hits you, not that you've taken this huge step forward in your life, but that you are stuck in limbo.  You don't belong to the life you had before, but you're still on the cusp of the adult world and don't really fit in there either.  As you watch you friends live their college lives from this glass divide you'll miss the freedom and sense of community you once had back in college.  You'll miss feeling included and knowing there was always a place for you.  Many of those college 'friends' won't last long as you move on from your studies.  They'll be living their life on their college schedule and for many it just won't work with your post-college life.

You'll feel totally unprepared for the real world and its expectations.  All of my teaching experiences, teaching courses, and practicums did not prepare me for my first day of substitute teaching.  For walking into a classroom in a school you don't know, full of students you don't know, to teach lessons from a teacher that you just. do. not. know.  I was terrified.  I was unprepared.  Did I really want to be a teacher?  It was then as I walked into that strange classroom, months after graduation, that I realized I was unsure of what I wanted to do with my life.

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No one told me that I still would be unsure; you're supposed to know these things after you graduate right?  Now some of you may have jobs lined up, some may be going off to graduate school, but the rest of us.  What do we do now?

Let me tell you a secret all you new graduates, one that would have saved me a lot of tears and anxiety.  The truth is that it's perfectly okay and absolutely normal to walk off that stage and not know what to do next.  Nobody, other than yourself, expects you to have the entirety of your future planned out so soon.

The reality is that you may (most likely will) not get your dream job for a very long time.  The job market is still not at its best and it really is hard to find to find a steady, well-paying job for new graduates.  I applied for multiple teaching jobs only to find out that over 300 people applied for each of them too.  And why would they hire people with such little real-life experience?  This can be a hard pill to swallow, after all that's why you got that degree; to get that big kid job you've dreamed of.  Just know you are not the only one struggling with this.  Try your best not to feel bitter or unaccomplished, especially if you know some young friend who scores their dream job right away.  Here you are, working multiple part-time jobs trying to make ends meet while you budget your heart out and try to make sense of all your student loans.  At this point you're probably well into those post-grad blues; wondering why was graduation good in the first place?

BUT

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Did you really enjoy college that much?  How quickly you've forgtten how much you hated most of your classes and couldn't stand all those exams and homework that seemed so pointless.  And those friends who lose contact with you because you have different schedules, they weren't the important ones anyway.  Your true friends will always try to make your schedules work and even if it takes months to find the time, you'll realize that once you're reunited nothing has changed between you.  I don't miss college.  Sure I miss the freedom, having my friends so near, and the memories I've made.  Yeah I get nostalgic when I visit certain parts of campus now, but do I miss the actual college part?  You know studying, interning, classes, homework, pleasing professors? No, just the comfort and security college offered; as a baby blanket is to the child afraid of the dark unknown.


And of course you will feel unprepared!  Only real experience can truly prepare you.  You have to throw yourself out there, fall down, and pick yourself back up again to truly be prepared for the real world.  Turns out that first substitute job that I was so terrified over reaffirmed my life decision.  But would I have known that if I hadn't graduated?  I've learned far more about teaching in this past year of substitute teaching than I have learned in any practicum experience I had in college.  Throwing myself out there made me realize I didn't need that baby blanket, I didn't need the protection of being in college.  I could do this on my own and I have so much more to learn with the years of experience to come.

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And those first jobs you so eagerly applied to but didn't get...so what?  You're young and you have years upon years to work that big kid job.  If you can find a job that relates in any way, shape, or form to what you want to do with your life, snatch it up.  If you can't, then find any job that pays the bills, work your butt off, and apply like crazy to jobs you want.  And if neither apply, well than save up some money and live your dreams; travel the world, do what you've always wanted, live your life.  It probably wasn't your dream job anyway.

So yes.  Graduating college is scary.  You'll feel uncertain and unprepared, and maybe like me you won't feel anything for the longest time.  The change to yourself comes slowly; over time, over experiencing the new exciting (yet often scary) things of the adult world.  You won't know you're changing, you won't feel a bit different.  But you'll get out there and start to realize post-college life is not so bad.  You'll make mistakes and learn from them.  You'll have jobs you'll love and jobs you hate.  But always remember, don't settle for anything if it makes you unhappy.  You will survive this.  You're young and (most of us) have so few real responsibilities holdings us back.  So take advantage of that, take a leap of faith, and live so that when you look years back from now you won't regret how you spent that youth.

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So back to me a year after graduation.  I knew after sacrificing so much to be able to afford college I had to take advantage of my youth and my desire to travel, so I applied to teach abroad.  I will officially be moving to Spain this fall to teach English as an English assistant in Madrid with the government program Auxiliares de Conversación.  BEDA contacted me recently on the wait-list to see if I was still interested in available positions, but I said no thank you.  While it seems like an amazing program, I'm a firm believer in that things happen if they're supposed to happen and everything is a learning experience.  I accepted Auxiliares and my decision just feels right.  And for the first time after graduation I am perfectly content not knowing exactly what my future holds.


So congratulations graduating class of 2013.  Don't let those post-grad blues get you down or make you doubt your passions.  Post-college life a heck of a ride, but I truly believe that as long as you follow your heart and do what makes you happy, you can make your ever-changing dreams a reality.  We can get through this together.  I leave you all with one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies:

"Carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary."-Robin Williams, Dead Poet's Society

What has your experience been like post-graduation?  How are you new graduates feeling?

Surviving Life After College

It's getting to be that time of year...  College graduation time.

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All over the country college seniors are finalizing all their projects, essays, theses, and internships while preparing for their plunge into the adult world.  A lot of my graduating friends have mentioned how scared they are to take this giant step, and that's normal!  Graduating college is a scary thing.  I remember last year at this time, with only a few weeks remaining of my senior year, feeling excited, afraid, and anxious all at the same time.  All of this mixed with relief that you're almost done with all those years of school, a dash of excitement that you're finally on the road to starting your real life, and more fear at the fact that 'Oh crap.  You're actually starting your real life!'  But don't worry; it's not as bad as you think!  I promise that you will get through it and who knows, you may even enjoy your post-college life more!  To help you along here are my tips on surviving life after college (in no particular order):

Have Working Goals and Plans

One big piece of pre-graduation advice is to have some working goals or plans in your head on what you want to do after college, both short-term and (relatively) long-term.  Many choose graduate school right out of college, some already have careers lined up, but the majority fall into the 'I have no idea what I'm doing with my life now.'  To help answer that dreaded question: 'so what are you going to do in the fall?' it's important to start thinking of the options out there.  My main goal after graduation was to move to Spain the following year with one of the English teaching programs I had researched [Auxiliares de Conversación, BEDA, UCETAM, CIEE (offered in 7 countries), and Fulbright ETA (offered globally, check site for details)].

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With all of this in mind I knew I would have to start planning for the applications, start saving money for the initial living expenses abroad, save for student loans payments while abroad, and gain as much experience as possible beforehand.  I planned my budget around what I wanted to do and found enough jobs to cover the expenses I estimated I would need to put my plans into action.  Because I had these working goals in mind so early I am nearly saved up for the flight to Spain, the first three months abroad (in case of payment issues), and my student loan payments for next year.  Remember, it doesn't need to be set goals or plans.  I started out with the idea of going abroad and then worked out how I could make it possible!  If you have your mind set on something you can make it work too!

Get a Job (Any Job)

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That leads into this piece of advice: get a job.  Easier said than done right?  Unfortunately it may not be a dream job in your career but any job is better than no job.  And three jobs are better than one job, right...?  Before you graduate see if the career services office at your university can look over your resume, go to as many job fairs as you can, and if all else fails find some job(s) that help you get by until you kick butt all the way to your dream job.  I graduated with a degree in elementary education and history and I applied for multiple teaching jobs upon graduation but was not chosen (I guess it's difficult when 300+ people applied for one position...), instead I continued with my goals set on Spain and looked for other jobs in the education/childcare field.

I finally decided to take the traditional route to becoming a full-time teacher and applied to be a substitute teacher in different school districts.  On top of that I was hired to be the site director of an after-school program run by the local YMCA, it's not perfect but it works for me because I can still sub in the morning and once a week I work the desk at the Y for my free gym membership.  Try to find something (anything) in your desired field to gain experience and if it's not enough, find another job to help make ends meet until a better offer comes along.  Those pesky student loans won't pay themselves!

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Organize and Understand Your Student Loans/Debt

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Oh student loans, the bane of my existence.  At best they can be confusing and at worst they just make you want to burst into tears.  If you can, get some loan counseling from your university before you graduate.  Start looking at the terms and policies of your student loans; know when your grace period ends, estimate your monthly payments, know what your interest rates are, look into payment plans/deferrals/forbearance if you do not have enough for the monthly payments.  Familiarize yourself with the websites that your loans are based out of so that when you do have to make the payments you know what you'll have to do.  If you can afford to make some payments before your grace period ends to help pay down the principal balance.

I have all government loans and I chose to have the payments drafted from my bank account directly so I don't forget any payments, it had the added bonus that this payment method reduces my interest rates by .25%.  If you start looking at your loans now it won't be so frustrating months from now when you have to start those painful payments!

Create a Budget

I cannot say enough how important it is to create a good working budget.  A good budget will help you organize your finances, keep you on track for your saving goals, and help you retain your sanity as the reality of student loans/debt hits you like a high-speed train.  There are many different budget templates on the internet and most banks may offer some on their websites/locations too.  Find one that works for your life and saving needs.  If your first budgeting attempt doesn't work, don't stick with that template.  I am constantly changing the format of my budget to better suit my needs.  Budgets are meant to make your life easier, not stress you out more.  I think it is most important to consider your income, bills, emergency funds, monthly necessities and saving needs prior to leisure/spending money.  Once what you know what you owe or how much you have to save up for, then you can see how much you have left to spend on going out and entertainment purposes.  That way you can keep from overspending.

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Don't Let the Post-Grad Blues Get You Down

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Adjusting to life after college is not easy.  Many of us went from living in a dorm or with friends to moving back home with our families.  You lose that sense of community, your independence, and your own private space.  The transition from college life to the 'real world' often leaves us with some good old post-grad blues wondering why did we think graduation was good?  What do you do now with your life?  It's hard to say when all you've ever known was being in school and with this economy not giving us the best job market.  This feeling may be stronger for those who still have friends in college.  I know visiting my friends still at my old university makes me feel out of place, like you don't belong anymore; only making the emotions of leaving more challenging.

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Hold in there though, it gets better.  It's important to remember that you're not alone and that many people are trying to come to terms with the same feelings.  I felt the same at first, but once I started working I actually realized that I LOVE life after college.  I love not having classes and I love working, feeling that for once I'm actually taking myself somewhere instead of just doing the classes and work because I have to graduate.  You may be busy, you may be broke, but you are starting out on your crazy, beautiful life and you find that you start doing things you love because you want to do them.  So stay positive and busy and you'll work through those post-grad blues in no times.

Work on your Relationships

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One negative about life after college is dealing with the relationships in your life, and not just the romantic ones.  Out of college it's much harder to meet new people.  You're not constantly surrounded by a community of people around your own age and it can be hard to keep in touch with your friends still in college because of your different schedules.  To make new friends, try to talk with other employees where you work; do you share common interests?  You could look at different social activities in your local community.  Are there any organizations or groups that interest you?  Volunteering is also a great option to meet new and interesting people.  Plus all the new, amazing people you will meet will be a great way to network for your dream job!





With your college friends you already have, part of the challenge may be in the distance that you may be apart now, if this is the case be sure to keep and touch and try to visit when you can.  Having a friend in another city or state is a great reason to take a road trip!  If your college friends are still nearby try to get together when your schedules can work out.  I know how challenging this can be; with my friends it often seems like we're on completely different time frames.  During the week I go to bed much earlier than they do and I often get out of work too late to want to drive over.  If the friendship is worth it, keep putting the effort in and eventually it will work out.

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As for romantic relationships, many people may find themselves in a long distance relationship if they were from different cities, states, or even countries!  Like with your college friends you may be apart from, try to make it work by talking and visiting as often as you can.  Anything is possible if you want it and work enough to keep it strong.  It may not be easy, but a long distance relationship with the right person can absolutely be worth it.

Find a Hobby

This may sound like a silly survival tip, but finding a hobby is a great way to help beat the post-grad blues and work on your relationships.  I know that being busy and working on something I genuinely was interested in helped me get over my bout of post-grad blues.  In my spare time I practice my Spanish, go to the gym, read a lot of books, work on my scrapbooks, and knit.  I know some of those hobbies may not sound interesting for everyone (knitting may not be the 'coolest') but for me they're a perfect way to keep happy and busy when I'm not working.  And some of these are even better because my friends enjoy them too, nothing is better than a hobby you can do with friends and on your own.

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Another thing I enjoy, not quite a 'hobby', is volunteering.  I volunteer for an organization called WaterFire Providence.  It's a non-profit arts organization based out of Providence that sets up events sponsoring the arts every other weekend during the summers (in the Providence locations).  It's based around the fires that are lit around the rivers in Providence, and this upcoming season will be my fourth volunteering on the wood boats.  I was even asked to train to be a captain this season and will have my first training coming up in a few weeks.  Check out the website here: WaterFire Providence.  It's been a great way to meet new people and a great way to network, on the boats we meet a lot of important people in Rhode Island who are our guests.  If you have the opportunity to volunteer somewhere I suggest you take it, it's one of the best feelings to do something you love and help others at the same time.

Enjoy Every Minute!

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Last, but certainly not least, is to enjoy every minute of your life.  Remember that it's your life and do with it what you want and what makes you happy.  If you want to travel, travel.  If you want want to move to another state, do it.  If you want to gets a Master's or PhD, don't let anything stop you.  Live so that you don't regret a single choice you make.  Even if you can't afford your dreams right now, work your butt off and do it a few years down the road; you're never too old for happiness.  Surviving life after college may be a struggle at times, and you may get down, but always remember that you can do it.  Remember to stop and smell the roses, that sometimes those 'huge' problems really aren't so big.  And most importantly remember that yes, you are tough enough and yes, you deserve the best.  So enjoy what life after college brings you!

What are your tips for surviving life after college?

Is Graduation Good?

The biggest thing I have noticed from my fellow graduates is a negative outlook on graduating, especially for those not continuing on to graduate schools.  Personally, I know I have felt the same way from time to time and these feelings are apparently termed the "Post-Grad Blues."

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It's definitely a huge change to go from being in school every year to all of a sudden not having that security blanket to go back to in the Fall.  Most of us have been consistently in school since kindergarten, so school has taken a good majority (around 17 years) of our life.  For the first time we're heading out on our own to meet the world without the protection of school or our parents.  Instead of looking for 'jobs' we're searching for 'careers.'  And in doing so, we are looking for our future, and that's a bit daunting at 21/22 years old.  Especially after having the freedom in college to hang out and party with your friends whenever you wanted.  Now with graduating, we have lost that freedom and social acceptance to just do what we wanted when we wanted.

I'm sure some of us had our futures planned out, I know I did.  I always wanted to be a teacher.  But I did not plan that when I graduated it would be in an economy still recovering from the recession of 2008 and an economy where teaching was one of the most difficult careers to enter.  It's an earth-shattering revelation that what we expected for ourselves is now seemingly unattainable.  How do you become a teacher when there are no openings?  When there are already substitute teachers who have been subbing for 7+ years with no luck?  And teaching is only one of the many careers that are feeling the heat right now.  There is an overabundance of us graduates, but comparatively few 'dream' positions.

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Perhaps the scariest part of graduating is that come Fall is the time when payments for our student loans start being due.  So on top of dim job prospects we are expected to pay back thousands of dollars we were forced to take out for our over-priced college education.  I think anyone in this situation would be 'blue.'

Now that does look like a bleak picture indeed.  And it's very clear why so many graduates dread the idea of graduating.  But it's important to look back at those past four years of our life in college and look at what we achieved, at what we learned, and at what we struggled through.  Personally, I'm sure glad I don't have to write another senior thesis on the history of the Crusades or have to deal with freshman roommate horror stories.  No more gen. ed. classes that you were never interested in, no more gross dining hall food, no more walking 5+ minutes to wherever your car is parked in the middle of a brutal New England winter, no more all nighters studying for something you clearly will not remember nor care about.

To graduate, we gave up a lot of these struggles to take on a whole new set.  But now we know that we can do it, that we can survive and thrive.  We learned we can solve problems on our own, we can move away from home, we can be independent, and so many things more important than what is taught in a classroom.

Graduating shouldn't be about what we lost, but the experience we have gained.  And how we apply this experience and knowledge to the rest of our lives.  That is what really comes after graduating, life.  It may be the unknown and it may be unsure, but that is what is really on the other side of that stage.  But I think that deep inside we all know that despite our initials 'blues' and our initial fear, the best is yet to come.

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