No Soy Yo: On Being Myself in Another Language

Ok.  We all know learning another language isn't easy, but expressing yourself...that's the hard part.

When you speak in your native language it feels natural.  You can crack a joke without thinking, have small talk with ease, and express yourself as an individual.  In another language it's just not the same: you fumble for words, your sarcasm doesn't come through, and cultural jokes are lost on you.

Being away from loved ones certainly doesn't help either

I can understand, have conversations, and produce Spanish.  But even with how much my Spanish has improved living abroad I still don't feel like myself.  I'm no poet, but in English the words have always come easily (excellent for all that SAT prep) but in Spanish I feel more like I'm the equivalent of a ten-year old child.  And not even a very funny one.

I know fitting in is always hard, especially being a naturally shy person, and moving abroad is no exception.  It's a frustrating circle of struggling to express myself, disliking my inability to express the real me in Spanish, and feeling further anxiety at the thought of struggling to express myself in the next social situation. Ugh.

Cracking jokes with my BFF back home

Speaking Spanish, especially the fear of speaking it incorrectly and inadequately (even though I know it's incredibly silly) has led me to just keep quiet.  I kept pulling the whole "try and make yourself invisible" that we all know never works.  I know the irrational fear of my Spanish causing me to be laughed out of a room has only been made worse by my anxiety, but knowing this didn't always make it easier.

So as this new year began I've finally realized that, after years of struggling to reconcile the real me with the "Spanish" me, the fear holding me back is pointless.  My Spanish won't get better if I'm too afraid to speak it.  And the more I hold back the progress of my Spanish the longer I stifle my personal expression.  Not to mention if I've never judged anyone for making mistakes in English why would I be judged for imperfect Spanish?  Answer: I can't let fear hold me back forever.  

Definitely speaks to me this year.

I know it was a brave thing picking up my entire life and moving to another continent, to start over in a new city, a new culture.  But as I remember the little girl who walked into my grandmother's Spanish classroom unashamed to babble in Spanish and share herself, I think that maybe it's time to be brave again.  To allow myself to make mistakes in Spanish, to share myself more freely, and to not be so afraid of just being me.

 Plus speaking Spanish can't be as scary as jumping out of a plane, can it?

How has your experience been expressing yourself in a different language?

Blast From the Past: Visiting the Medieval City of Ávila

Ávila.

Edge of the murallas, walls, of Ávila

Maybe you've never even heard of it.  But, you should give it a try.

At first I didn't know much about Ávila either, I had only become familiar with the area when I met one of the BF's friends who is originally from the province.  It was a last minute idea when my co-workers and I decided one weekend that we wanted to travel somewhere together.  Among other options, Ávila was the top contender for spending a relaxing day outside of Madrid.  As the capital of the province Ávila, in Castilla y León, it may be a small city (with a rough population of 60,000) but it's proximity to Madrid makes it an excellent, and affordable, day trip.

To arrive to Ávila from Madrid we took one of the many trains from Chamartín, which is about a 1.5 hour journey (if you don't take the regional train, 2€ less but not worth the extra time!) and roughly 10€ each way.  After our train arrived, also known as the 1.5 hours I spent being used as a race track for the two-year-old boy sitting next to me (who would NOT share his kit-kats), we made our way to the entrance of the old town of Ávila.

A UNESCO World Heritage Site, Ávila is mainly known for its old city center and murallas (walls), that enclose most of the old town.  Built between the 11th and 14th centuries these walls are impressive for their sheer size alone.  While they may not seem that tall at first glance, the history nerd in me wants to comment that most Medieval cities were built into hillsides so they could use the height of the hill to build protective walls to their advantage (think entering the city of Toledo and its uphill trek).  The city of Ávila however is quite flat by comparison, meaning that with a rough perimeter of 8,000 feet and a height close to 40, there are few medieval walls I've seen that are as massive.

Massiveee

Naturally, the walls were the first part of the city we set off to explore.  While not all of the walls are walkable, nearly half of the perimeter is open to the public.  The general ticket price was 5€, but with a student ID only 3.5€ (with both including a guided audio tour).

We spent a good hour walking around the wall, enjoying the view and beautiful March day, before hunger got the best of us.  Nearing lunch time we wandered in the center of the old town to find some typical food.  One of my favorite things about Spain is that each region is known for it's "typical food," travelling from one province to another you're able to enjoy part of their individual.  One of the foods that Ávila is famous for is it's chuletón, or rib steak, which is just as juicy and delicious as the picture below looks:

source, Chuletón, yum!

After lunch we decided to walk around the rest of the old town, some claim that Ávila is one of the towns with the highest number of Romanesque and Gothic churches per capita in Spain, whether or not that's true there are definitely plenty of beautiful churches to see.  Two that we visited in Ávila were the Cathedral and the Convent for the patron saint Teresa de Ávila, built on her birthplace.

Though both beautiful, with only a few hours left before our train we decided to take some of the locals' advice to head to "Los Cuatros Postes," to get a full view of the walls.  On a hill outside the walls, the view from the posts was worth the twenty minute walk to overlook the city.

As we headed to the train station to return to Madrid we forgot we had opted to save 2€ by buying tickets home on the regional train.  Not worth it!  As the train pulled up we realized with a sinking feeling that we would be spending the next two hours stuck on a cercanías train, with a transfer in El Escorial, and the cherry on top was that we almost sat in a seat where someone had previously "tossed their cookies."  Ew.

Moral of the story, spend those 2€ for a shorter, more comfortable train ride.  Trust me.

source, yemas de Ávila/Santa Teresa

But don't forget to pick up some traditional yemas before you leave!

 Have you given Ávila a try?

March Madness

And no I'm not talking about college basketball...

I can't believe I let a month fly by without posting anything, but I guess that's life for you.  Sometimes it can call for more than you're used to.

Spring blossoms on the way home from work.

It's not like March was supposed to be a busy month, the only thing I anticipated was the coming of Spring and hopefully having my clothes start to dry in less than a week (wishful hoping).

Instead March was a month full of extremely high "ups" and equally low "downs": stress, anger, frustration, joy, love, and fun.  It was a crazy month that I guess has kept me posting because I A) Didn't know how to express everything I was going through exactly as I wanted and B) Because I just didn't have the time to sit myself down at the computer and write.

And I really did have posts lined up to write, I even started a few of them: my first Día de los Reyes, Carnaval in my colegio, the process of renewing, and my thoughts on how living in Spain I've grown to love so many different foods.  But then they all just got put on the back burner of my life.

Spanish potluck dinner with friends.

I don't want to bore you all with a long post of every detail of my month, trust me, some of them I would rather not relive.  And that being said, some other ones I will put in their own post (hopefully not several months behind again).

To get over with it I'll start with the worst of the month:

• School drama.  My school is great, don't get me wrong but two situations that had been growing for a while mad March a very stressful month:
• One of my usual teachers was on maternity leave for a few months and a long-term sub was brought in.  Normal, right?  The only problem is that they brought in a teacher whose level of English was not up to what it should be in a bilingual school and she also could not control the class, among many other frustating situations.  I have never been so happy to have my teacher return last week, good teachers make all the difference.

Las Meninas at the Carnaval Parade

• With another grade we are preparing exams, which is frustrating for all parties involved.  The other auxiliar and I started to become way overused (and overwhelmed) with what we were being asked to do, like: solo teaching all of the classes.  It just got to be too much, finally leading us to a meeting to talk through all the issues and miscommunication.  Which was a reminder that when there is a problem and/or you feel uncomfortable, it will only get worse until you talk about it.

• General job stress.  With the crisis in Spain and lack of jobs for most of the youth, we were anxiously waiting to hear back from the BF's company if he would get officially hired like they kept hinting.  My staying in Spain for next year depended a great deal on whether or not he would be able to stay in Madrid with me.  After a long distance relationship for two years we've both vowed to do whatever we could to avoid being in the situation again, making the uncertainty of his job a huge stress for both of us.

• Children are infested disease carriers.  Kidding...only a little bit, at least they're cute...

Sneak peak of las murallas de Ávila.

But like I said before March also had its beautiful moments, worth all of the stress and frustration.

• Finally good luck in jobs!  At the end of the month we finally received good news on both fronts and will likely be here for at least two more years (at least one more for me with Auxiliares as I was officially placed last Thursday!)

• A day trip to Ávila, the capital of the province of Ávila in Castilla y León, with friends.  It's a great small city known for it's medieval wall and it's high number of Romanesque and Gothic churches.  Plus great Chuletón (a type of T-bone steak)!

• An impromptu trip to Barcelona last weekend to visit some of my boyfriend's friends.  It was my first time in Cataluña in general and I had an amazing time getting to know them and the city.  There's nothing better than having native tour guides, especially ones so welcoming!  We didn't get to see everything we wanted, but we both want to go back with more time to enjoy the city and his friends.

• And general exploring and enjoyment of Madrid.  Like watching the Carnaval parade in person, visiting the Museum of Sorolla (one of my favorite Spanish artists), and devouring the Spanish cuisine.  We're a couple that really, really loves food and on the weekends (and sometimes the ambitious weekday) we like exploring different corners and restaurants of Madrid. 

• And finally my dad arrives to visit on Wednesday and I'm beyond excited to see him, as I haven't seen him since August!  I spent most of March planned for his visit and looking forward to his arrival.  It's his first time in Europe so we have plans to travel to some different sights in Europe and Spain.

Now that April is here and the weather is BEAUTIFUL I'm excited to (finally finish the posts I've planned, of course) what this month has planned for me and spend more time walking around and exploring Madrid.  It's such a huge city and there's so many places yet to discover.

View of Barcelona from Parque Güell.

How has March treated you this year?

Nochevieja, Celebrating Like a Spaniard

A little late in the year for talks of New Year celebrations, but never too late to learn some new traditions!

New Year's Eve throughout the world is quite the spectacle, but never have I seen a spectacle as large as in Spain.  This year was my first New Year's Eve away from home, and I got to spend it with my boyfriend's family and friends in Santander learning how to ring in the new year like a Spaniard.

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I was first most surprised by how family oriented this holiday was compared to the United States.  Unlike in the USA where I either celebrate at my house with my mom and a few friends or at a friend's party, my boyfriend's whole family got together for a huge family dinner (very similar to their Christmas Eve here).

We arrived at their grandfather's house for around 9:00 pm, perfect timing for a Spanish dinner, and spent the time playing games and planning on how my hair would be done for later that night.  Yes, you heard that, how my hair was going to be done...but more on that later.

Bringing two cultures together with pie!

As the clock struck 10:00 we all gathered around the table for a huge dinner of langostinos, pâté, anchovies, cured lomo, salad,  piles of bread, cochinillo (suckling pig/piglet), and cordero (lamb).  Finished off with dessert of torrijas (like a very sweet french toast) and apple pie I made to share some of traditional USA culture.  As usual everything was delicious and I rolled away from the table with a stomach too full for my own good, my typical state after big Spanish family dinners.

Now with an hour to spare before the twelve chimes from Puerta del Sol, the hour of the peinados (hairstyles) began.  In Spain once midnight strikes it's very common for teenagers/young adults, who are of drinking age or atleast pretend to be, meet with their friends to go out.  One of the ways to do this on New Year's Eve is to have a cotillón, a party where a group of people rent out a bar for one pre-paid entrance fee (normally anywhere from 35-70€) and stay and drink there until the bar closes around 6:00 am.  In Santander everyone is dressed to the nines for these cotillones, the men in suits and the women in nice dresses, some even with their hair styled.

My fabulous hair-do

As it was my first, and maybe last cotillón as many of our friends aren't feeling cotillones anymore, we wanted to go all out.  The BF's aunt used to be a hairdresser and she fabulously styled my hair and his sister's.  While we were being "beautified" he was on grape duty.  Counting out grapes for all the family members and making sure everyone had the twelve grapes in time for the twelve chimes, probably the most well known Spanish New Year's tradition.

Unlike watching a giant crystal ball drop in Time's Square, well they have a small ball drop, everyone gathers around the TV, with grapes in hand, to watch the center of Madrid and wait for the clock to strike.  Once the clock strikes numbers appear on the screen with each chime, telling when each grape should be eaten.  I'm proud to say I ate all twelve grapes in time, good luck and prosperity for the new year!, though it did help that we had seedless grapes...  Regardless, we toasted the new year with cava, gave besos to the whole family, and enjoyed all the fireworks being set off near the house.

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Now that it was after midnight we were in a time crunch to finish getting ready to meet our friends in the center for 1:00 am.  We were dropped off by their father who agreed to pick us all up the next morning in the center around 7:00 am, a reasonable party end in Spain.

Altogether the cotillón was fun, not the greatest music unfortunately, but after being in Madrid it was great going out with all our friends from Santander.  And like any great Spanish party, we ended the night (began the day?) with chocolate con churros.

When we woke up later that day we went back to their grandfather's house for a New Year's Day family lunch of delicious home-made Paella.  A few games later, more like the same game of Risk for a few hours, we all went to the cinema to catch a movie (Keanu Reeves's 47 Ronin) together.  The perfect way to relax after a long night, and to remember how much I love the Spanish importance of family.  There's nothing better than family time!

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How was your New Year's Eve?  Have you ever celebrated it as part of another culture?

Post-College Expectations Vs. Reality

Where have I been for the past few weeks?  Drilling Spanish children on what it means to be healthy or unhealthy? Yes. Over indulging in Spanish culture?  Maybe.  Ignoring blog world? Never.

The truth is that my computer suddenly decided it didn't love me anymore and now processes at a speed roughly slower than a snail/tortoise hybrid baby would.  While it "claims" there is no virus, I'm currently only able to add anything to my blog when the BF isn't using his computer (and with his Master's presentation this week, that time has been few and far between).

With that being said, it's also been a while since I've had a post more about dealing with life after college, instead of my current life abroad in Spain.  While this does happen to be my life after college, I understand that there are many who may come to this blog who aren't very interested in what I'm doing but are looking for advice in the process of leaving their college years behind.

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Well this one's for you guys.

Last year before I came to Spain I wrote a post called: Common Life After College Myths Debunked talking about some common myths I had heard, and some I felt, before graduating.  Now almost two years post-graduation (Seriously? One year after college was hard enough to process...) I'm realizing that all my own expectations and plans have changed, and not necessarily in a negative way.

I thought I would have a real job by now...

Yeah I know it wasn't a good market, and very few people were being hired...but I thought somehow I would be different.  Those statistics didn't apply to me, I had done well in all my student teaching practicums and even won awards, it may take a few tries I would be hired.  Wrong.  I still remember the first teaching jobs I applied to where over 400 people applied to the same position and I wasn't even called in for an interview.  I was heartbroken, like I wasn't a good enough teacher because I wasn't hired straight out of college.  

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But after I started substitute teaching  I began to realize that those statistics were there for a reason, and that I wasn't the only one trying to break into the education field.  There were so many subsitutes I met who had been struggling like this for nearly a decade!  And I finally realized that not having my dream job right away didn't mean I wasn't good enough, I had to define my own worth because no job would do that for me.  So I made up my mind that, that was the year I made the move to Spain.  I wanted to do something different with my life, and while it's still not my dream job being an auxiliar, I feel much more fulfilled working long term with a group of students then subbing in their classroom a few times a year.

I didn't think I could stay healthy

For anyone that has ever known me I'm a food-iac.  I love food, love eating, and worse have a killer sweet tooth.  On the other hand though, I also love to workout and stay physically active, but have the vice that I easily get overwhelmed by pressure and nap when I should be sweating.  While in school I was able to keep up the tentative balance, but was never quite happy with my health regime.  Regardless, I was worried that I would be able to break old unhealthy patterns, hmm dessert you say?, and that I wouldn't be able to afford to have healthy meals.

May not look like much, but stuffed eggplants!

So I started to learn how to cook and the beauty that is moderation.  In the U.S. the food was a little more difficult because fresh fruit and vegetables can be so expensive, but here in Spain fresh produce is my cheapest purchase.  I've taken my health into my own hands by constantly searching for new healthy ways to cook the food I love.  I've also started to tap into Spanish foods with my Christmas gift of a Spanish cook-book which is full of vegtables and fruits.  Overall the most important thing I've learned is that while we eat to fuel our bodies, we also eat to enjoy.  Between using fresh ingredients, cooking from scratch, and moderation I have stayed healthy and happy post-college.  Not to mention staying active is now as easy as searching fitness on pinterest!

I thought my university would always be home

I was not the stereotypical college student, I spent more time with my friends off campus than on, but it still felt like home to me.  And with friends still left behind, I thought that feeling would never change for me.  Especially since my campus was fifteen minutes away from and I practically grew up on the campus.  Instead, I found that from the moment I stepped back on campus that it wasn't home anymore.  

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I was working six days a week and while I was worried about bills and going to bed on time, my friends were talking about parties and their classes.  I found that except for a few close friends, I couldn't relate to the people I had once hung out with anymore, or the goals that had for their lives at that moment.  Everytime I returned to campus I just felt more and more like an outsider looking in and one night when I walked past my old dorm, and saw a light on in my old room, it became clear that I no longer belonged there.  And wouldn't again.  At first I was sad, but it gave me the push I needed to move out of my comfort levels.  My old college may no longer be my home, but that didn't mean I had to lose my friends or the memories I would take with me.

I didn't think I could afford my loans

Oh student loans, why must you be so expensive?  They're were one of the most daunting things about graduating.  I just remember thinking helpless, how would I ever be able to pay them back?  But then again, I'm a proactive person and spent my senior year working two jobs on top of my studies to save money.  When my grace period was over I had already saved enough money to make the payments of my first year of loans.  And last year I saved up enough money to make the payments for two more years.

Mini-Plaza Mayor at Parque Europa

Don't get me wrong, it was a lot more work then you may think, I had to sacrifice a lot of time and things that I wanted. But thanks to that work I have been able to travel and make it to Spain this year (and afford my loans).  Yes, student loans are expensive, and a nuisance, and...you get the picture.  But they don't have to be impossible.  With planning and hard work, you can beat your loan payments and enjoy your life.  If you need some help making sense of your loans, read my post about dealing with student loan debt.

I thought I would be near my friends

This has been one of the hardest pills to swallow about going to a college near my house, and moving abroad to Spain (both with my friends from high school and college).  My friends are some of the most important people in my life and I thought I would be able to keep up our girl's nights and general adventures.  Post-college and having moved away I feel like I have to start all over again.  I feel like I'm back in high school, or a freshman in college trying to find new people I can connect with (particularly hard if you're introvert that does a poor awkward job at pretending to be an extrovert).

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But the hards thing has been that being so far away means I have missed a lot, of both the good and the bad.  I can't be there to congratulate my friends on the new job or comfort them when a loved one has passed away.  Even with skype, facebook, email, and whatsapp I'm not a part of their lives like we used to be.  I feel like I'm in a long distance relationship all over again, but this time with my friends.  While it's not easy, I've learned that the friendships (like all types of relationships) will remain strong if all parties want it to work and the effort is made to stay in touch.  Thanks technology!

I didn't think I could travel

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that post-college I would be able to travel, let alone live abroad.  Believe me when I say it hasn't always been an easy path, but for me it has been worth all that I've had to given up.  And when I say give up, I mean all those little things that we have been told we need to be able survive: the newest clothes, the latest technology, a big house, new car, etc.  And if those things make you happy, there's nothing wrong with that.  I know plently of people who look at what I'm doing with my life and wouldn't feel happy or fulfilled.

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But if you're like me, and traveling is your dream, then anything is possible.  Maybe I don't have the nicest phone or laptop, maybe I don't have designer clothes or expensive accessories, I have a great experience and great memories.  I can say "Remember that time we rented an apartment in the center of Paris and could see the eiffel tower from our balcony?" or "Remember that time I celebrated my birthday in Pamplona at the Running of the Bulls?" or even "Remember that time I fell up a crowded metro escalator with all my luggage trying to make a plane to Sevilla on time?" (true story, complete wipe out).  And those memories, even the embarrassing, are for me worth giving up all those little things.

How has the post-college life met your expectations?

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Living On a Budget: Auxiliar Style

A lovely day in Madrid to talk budgets.

I've had a lot of people back home, as well as people interested in teaching abroad in Spain, wonder how I'm able to live abroad and make ends meet.  Many who are not in the program have wondered if I get paid on time, how much I spend per month, and if the money I make is sufficient to live abroad in Spain.

In the Auxiliares government program you get paid  based on the location you work.  In Madrid you work 16 hours per week and make 1000€, while in the rest of Spain you work only 12 hours per week and make 700€.    As the capital, and largest city in Spain, Madrid is one of the most expensive cities to live here and with the Auxiliares you make more money to cover the extra living costs.

Though many may not believe it, in this program you can make more than enough money to live comfortably in Spain.  Especially if you find any of the abundant Private English classes.

To help give you an idea of how I live on my budget abroad, here's a breakdown of my monthly expenses:

Transportation:

My school isn't in the center of Madrid where I live, instead it's a city just outside of the city limits so I have to buy a monthly Abono/Transportation pass.  You can buy these Madrid monthly abonos in based on what zone you need to travel between (A, B1, B2, B3, C1, C2, E1, E2) and your age: Joven, Normal, and Tercera Edad. Because my school is in the B1 zone I buy the monthly B1 Abono, and unfortunately (for me) because I'm over 23 I have to buy the Normal B1 abono.  The card costs me 63.70€ a month but covers any (trains, metro, or bus) travel in zones A and B1.

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Housing:

As I said before, I live in the center of Madrid.  And when I say center, I mean center, as in three minutes from Puerta del Sol.  My boyfriend and I share a one bedroom apartment together, and obviously the rent and utilities that come with it.  Since it's only a one bedroom apartment it's very cheap for us: 280€ (for each of us) per month for just the rent.As for utilities, we don't pay for our water only for electricity and internet.

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For internet and phone we each pay 17€, but this also includes a few hours of international calling to the USA per month.  [Hear that stateside friends!].  And for electricity it depends on the month and the amount we use.  In September and October it was around 11€ for each of us per month, in November and December it was closer to 25€ for each of us per month, and now that the cost of electricity has risen starting this month...we shall see...

Point being that my cost for housing in Madrid's center has ranged monthly from 308-322€.  Definitely not too shabby for living in the Country's capital.

Groceries:

Groceries in this household depends a lot on how much my boyfriend feels like eating in a sitting, which is usually a lot more than I do!  We still split all food costs 50/50 and usually the monthly cost is 300€ for the two of us, so around 150€ each one.  If you're wondering what grocery stores that we shop at, we generally go to the Hipercor of Cortes Ingles (which I've found far less expensive than everyone claims it to be) though sometimes I also go to the Ahorra Mas across the street from my school, or the Carrefour Express that's also near our apartment.

How can you not love the fresh food in Spain? source

Phone:

In Spain this doesn't have to be you! source

Paying for my cell phone here is so cheap that it's something I rarely think (and never worry) about it.  The thing about cell phone service in Spain compared to the USA is that purchasing the actual phone is generally much more expensive (even with a contract and you don't get free upgrades!) but the plans are usually way cheaper.

The cheapest unlocked smartphone I could find was 79€ but my monthly plan with Tuenti is only 10.89€ (now changing to 10.75€!).  I chose Tuenti because of this plan of 1GB of data and 75 minutes of calls per month, so far I haven't gone over either since being here since September.  The only thing is that when I pay monthly on my account they only accept payments in increments of 5€ so sometimes I only have to pay 10€ while others I pay 15€, so I always budget a full 15€.

Savings:

Like many other auxiliares in this program I'm a recent College graduate with student loans to pay off.  I didn't want to defer them but also didn't want to have to pay them while I was here, so I saved up enough money to pay for my loans for two years (seriously spent all last year saving) to prepare for if I was renewing.  In case I do want to stay in Spain for a third year, I have been saving 80€ a month that is for my loans to be transfered to my American bank account at some point this year.

Save those euros! source

General Spending:

This category is for all the general spending in a month, whether it be for: drinks, clothes shopping, having dinner out, or general miscellaneous purchases.  On average per month I spend around 200€ for all of the above, rarely going over my budget.  While Madrid may be more expensive than other cities in Spain, I've found that it's much cheaper to go out here than where I live (beers and wine for 1€, yes please).

You just have to know the different options and know the ofertas, for example: if you like shopping, know when the rebajas (sales) are during the year.  In the current post-Christmas rebajas for only 115€ I've bought a winter coat, a dress, two pairs of jeans, two blouses, and 1 t-shirt.  Score!


For those who want a clearer break-down, these are my monthly costs and the amount I have leftover:
My Average Monthly Income: (1000€ + private lessons)
63.70€ Abono
308-322€ Rent/Utilities
150€ Groceries
15€ Cell Phone
80€ Saving
200€ General Spending
816.70-830.70€ Total Expenses

Every month I clearly have plenty of euros leftover.  This money  is what I've been saving to use for future European travels, like when my Dad is coming to visit me (and Europe for the first time) in April!

If you want advice on any of the above processes like housing, abonos, and phones; read my post:

 "How-To's" for Moving to Spain: Advice from the First Year

And for those who what more ideas on budgets in Spain check out these helpful posts:

Young Adventuress: Spain Budget Breakdown

Oh No She Madridn't: Auxiliares de Conversación Budget in Madrid

How does your budget abroad differ from mine?  Do you have any questions about living costs in Spain with the Auxiliares program?

Nochebuena, Papa Noel, and a Snowless Christmas

I knew one day I wouldn't be able to come home for holidays; after all we all grow up, we all move away from home, and we all start our own lives.  I just never imagined the day would come so soon and that we would be separated by a whole ocean.

When I accepted the position to teach abroad in Madrid I made the conscious decision that I would not be home for Christmas.  Flight prices are so expensive this time of year, I didn't know if I would have my resident card in time, and it just seemed easier to stay in Spain to celebrate.

Christmas morning!

In retrospect, more convenient: yes, easier: no, rewarding and worth the experience: definitely.

While it was at times really hard being away from my family (a.k.a. on Christmas Eve I might have cried the whole bus ride home from the downtown area...), I was extremely lucky to be invited to spend the holidays with my boyfriend's family in Santander and had a home away from home.  Plus the added bonus that I got to see what Christmas was like as part of a Spanish family.

One of the things that pleasantly surprised me the most was the extent of the public Christmas decorations.  In both Madrid and Santander there were Christmas lights on all over the main streets and plazas; I was amazed when December hit and the streets were lit up every night.  While Madrid, as the capital, certainly had more lights I still found those in Santander impressive.

Town Hall of Santander

The plaza of the Ayuntamiento of Santander was lit up with tree lights, the reyes magos (wise men), and reindeer; not to mention the carousel and Mercado de Navidad in the Plaza de Pombo.  I guess I found all the holiday decorations strange becauses of all the controversy at home about decorating for Christmas and excluding other holidays.  It's become such a taboo subject in some public places like schools that I was not used to so much "Christmas", but being away from home I loved all the extra holiday spirit!

One tradition that was definitely new for me was Tardbuena. When December 24th roles around all the young (drinking age) people, at least in Santander, celebrate Tardebuena.  Before having dinner and spending the evening with their families, they spend the afternoon drinking at different bars with their friends.  And when I say the afternoon I literally mean from noon to seven bar hopping decked out with noisemakers and santa claus hats.

When I asked my friends about this tradition they said it's something that is a relatively recent addition to their holiday celebrations, maybe five or so years old.  While it may just seem like typical Spain going out and partying, it's more than just getting drunk before your family dinner.  It's about including your friends in your holiday celebration and celebrating being a "family" with them.

I found on my first Tardebuena that it was the perfect way to fit in 'friend-time' during the busy family holiday season.  Unfortunately for us though, and in true Santander fashion, Tardebuena ended in a rain-out as we tried to run to the bus stop without being soaked.  I failed and made the bus looking like a wet dog...

My second Spanish family

After everyone goes home, or is picked up, the real Nochebuena (Christmas Eve) celebrations began.  Finally, with dry hair, I got dressed for the night and we all went to my BF's grandfather's house in a village just outside of Santander.  Unlike most holiday celebrations at home there were not appetizers served while everyone was waiting around for dinner to be cooked, you just have to be patient and wait for food (very un-Spanish!)  This wait is even more noticeable by the fact that dinner was not served until 10:00 pm, an ungodly dinner hour for most Americans.  But absolutely worth all the delicious Spanish foods!

[If you want to learn about some of the traditional Spanish Christmas treats read this post by blogger Cat from Sunshine and Siestas: A Field Guide to Spanish Christmas Treats, I particularly like marzipan and turrón the most.]

A little piece of home!

When we did finally commence eating, our first plates were: langostinos (prawns/large shrimp), pâté, anchovies, cured lomo, salad, and of course piles of bread.  I'm not a huge fan of pâté or anchovies, but I love langostinos and I had a super Spanish lesson on how to peel them with a knife and fork.  I'm proud to say that I was mostly successful!  After the first plates came the meats: cochinillo (suckling pig/piglet) and cordero (lamb).  And finally dinner was followed by New York style Blueberry Cheesecake from the BF's cousin, assorted Christmas cookies I made with the family, and drinking and games until four in the morning...  I kid you not.  Let's just say this grandma started to fall asleep after midnight.

Christmas morning after waking up, not so bright and early, we gathered around the Christmas tree to open our presents from Papa Noel.  Papa Noel is very similar our 'American' Santa Claus and is a relatively new part of the Spanish holiday traditions.  In fact, many of my students and friends still receive most (if not all) of their presents from the Three Wise Men on the Epiphany on January 6th.  Nowadays in the BF's house they give most of the presents on Christmas and only a few on the Epiphany.

Christmas boxer sharing the spoils

Our piles of presents were all sorted and marked by our respective slippers, and like at home, we each took turns opening the gifts.  The BF's family was super sweet and even had some presents for me!  It was really thoughtful because I thought I was only going to have the gifts that I had gotten when my mom put Christmas money in my account for presents.

After the present extravaganza was finished we got ready to head back to their grandfather's house for Christmas day lunch.  We all filled up on more langostino, baked pasta, more meat, and leftover desserts from the night before.  Part of the family's holiday tradition was that after every Christmas day lunch the cousins all go out to the cinema to catch a movie, so while we digested we caught a showing of the second part of The Hobbit.

But even though "Christmas" was technically over, the celebrations were not.

Every year the BF and his friends have a Christmas dinner where they get dressed up, go to a nice restaurant for a special menu, and participate in Secret Santa.  Since this was my first Christmas here it was also my first year to be a part of the festivities.  Luckily I was given a good friend and I surprised her with a hand-knitted hat and jewelry.

This year we had the dinner on the 28th, the holiday of 'Día de los Inocentes,' the Spanish equivalent of April Fool's Day.  Let's just say the waiters' had a lot of fun making jokes when they were serving us...  The food was good, the wine was flowing, and it really meant a lot to feel like a part of the group.  As the 'foreigner' in a group it can be easy to feel left out even if no one means it: someone tells an inside cultural joke that you don't get because you didn't group up there, a song from the 80's comes on and the whole bar starts rocking out without you, etc.  

But my point is, that it's days like that Christmas dinner when you see the effort someone took trying to buy you the perfect present (an assortment of baking supplies, cupcakes for everyone!), that you realize just how much you're loved.  And that's when I realized everything.  

I was home for Christmas.  It just took a while to realize you can have more than one.

How was your Christmas?  Do you have any special holiday traditions?

Día de Acción de Gracias: Thanksgiving Abroad

Thanksgiving.  A huge American tradition where you gather with your family to remember all the things you have to be thankful for, supposedly like the pilgrims of Plymouth hundreds of years ago.

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The problem is though, what happens when you're an American in another country over 3,000 miles away from your family?  Well that's when the big girl pants come on and you pretend like you know how to cook a roast bird in a teeny tiny oven and invite everyone you know over to judge your cooking abilities.  Forget last Thanksgiving where I thought it was a big deal to cook with a fully prepared kitchen and ample seating.  I'm talking about how you find cranberry sauce and make pumpkin pie happen when you can't find the key ingredients?

But I digress.

Barely a week before Thanksgiving I thought: "Hey.  Wouldn't it be a great idea to invite squeeze ten people into our 40 m² apartment some of our friends over to celebrate?"

And it was great, but not always easy.  Especially finding all the traditional Thanksgiving fixings.  I took care of the desserts and meat (and a few random things like green beans and baked brie) which overall wasn't too bad finding most of the foods.  I had some serious difficulty acquiring ingredients for the pumpkin pie and cranberries though.  Luckily Madrid is a huge city and has plenty of American stores and managed to snag the last can of cranberry sauce in the store near my house. (Muahahaha)  And on the subject of the meat... I honestly gave up entirely on a huge roasted turkey and settled for a close-enough roasted chicken and turkey filets (with a delicious vinegar reduction sauce I might add).

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Thankfully it was potluck style so different friends were helping with different foods.  One friend made absolutely delicious squash and mashed potatoes, another supplied appetizers, and the rest supplied the beverages.  As per typical American tradition we had way too much food for all in attendance and all left completely stuffed.  And we even ended the day watching a little bit of good ol' American football.

And even though it was great, it was (for lack of a better word) different.  It was the first time I was away from my family for the holiday, the first time I was in charge of the meat, the first time I independently hosted it, and the first time celebrating in a place where Thanksgiving doesn't exist.  As an American abroad, not only are you missing the family and traditions you grew up with but you realize exactly how foreign you, and your culture, are.

But most importantly celebrating a holiday like Thanksgiving abroad reminds you why it was so special in the first place.  Too often we're so used to how things have always been done that we just go through the motions.  Celebrating, and teaching about, Thanksgiving here reminded me why I love this holiday and why this holiday is so important to us: to celebrate all the things we have to be thankful for.  And living abroad here in Madrid, how can I not be thankful for this experience and for all the great people I've met so far along the way.  An experience like this comes once in a lifetime and I'm truly grateful for everything, the good and the bad, that comes from living in a new country.

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And just to everybody else to be thankful, I'll leave you all with an adorable anecdote of teaching my students about Thanksgiving.  

On the actual day of Thanksgiving I helped teach the children about the history of the holiday and what it means "to be thankful."  In one of my first grade classes they got to thank each other for the nice things they do and many of them also wanted to thank me: "Thank you for loving me, thank you for helping me, and thank you for being in my class." THEN when some of my fourth graders realized that I wouldn't be able to celebrate with my family they told me they were sorry, gave me hugs, and wished me a Happy Thanksgiving anyway. Leave it to a bunch of sweet Spanish students to remind me of the meaning of Thanksgiving.

I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving too, whether near or far from your loved ones.  I'm thankful for all of you!

Adults Can Feel Homesick Too?

It's been ages since I felt even slightly motivated to write anything, ugh.  And I was going to write about my recent trip to Sevilla, but over the past few weeks I've started to become bothered by some creeping negative feelings that I couldn't quite describe.   And it wasn't until a few days ago when I read a blog post about another girl doing the same program as me: "How I'm Battling Homesickness", that I realized the feelings I've been experiencing recently are actually the result of homesickness.

You heard me right.  And to those that know me well it may come as a shock, because I've never really been one to be homesick.  When I was little I always wanted to go to the longest sleep-away camps, stay forever at my family's summer cabin, or always sleep over my friends' houses.

A recent care package I received from some old students from home

I hadn't even realized my mood had changed until it was pointed out by my boyfriend.  "Why aren't you studying Spanish anymore?  Why don't you go out with your friends?  Why don't you seem happy?" he kept asking.  But I'd just brush it off by arguing that I was exhausted, I would feel better soon.  But I wasn't feelig better, and how could I be that tired when I'm only working twenty hours per week?  Yes, dealing with the language barrier and children are tiring, but there had to be something more.

And queue me stumbling upon that aforementioned blog post about homesickness and reading what she had to say: "Homesickness has nothing to do with whether or not you wanted to move to your new place or if you were forced. It’s a completely involuntary reaction" (source).  It hit me.  It wasn't about me missing anything specific about home, but about missing things that felt familiar.  I of course missed my family, friends, and cats; but I also missed feeling comfortable.  I missed feeling like I belonged.

My BF trying to help me keep my Halloween traditions abroad

I do love living in Spain, but living in another culture isn't always easy.  I missed being able to tune in and out of a conversation without being lost, I missed knowing how to get around my town without getting lost, and I missed feeling like I belonged.  I missed so many little things that I had taken for granted at home, things I didn't notice until they were gone like: living in a house instead of an apartment, not having to plan trips around available public transportation, marathons on TV, and comfort food.

I think there's nothing inherently wrong with feeling homesick.  It's perfectly normally when you make a big change or move away from where you have become familiar.  As far as I'm concerned it just means that you left a place that was worth you missing it.  My problem though was that over the past few weeks I had become so busy wallowing in my homesickness that I had stopped appreciating all the wonderful reasons that I had moved to Spain for in the first place.

A hiking field trip with my students definitely helped clear my head.

So instead of continuing my moping, I set out to find ways to deal with finding ways to deal with my bout of homesickness in a healthier way:

Don't want to lose touch with this cutie ^

1. Allow some Familiar Media-I had set out to only watch programs and movies in Spanish while I was living here, but then I just found myself missing the familiar voices of characters from my favorite shows and movies.  So I came up with a compromise of watching my favorites in English but the rest in Spanish to improve my understanding.  And to be quite honest I find that now that I feel like I have the choice, I generally choose to leave the TV in Spanish.
2. Don't Hide Away from the World-There have been so many days recently where I'd rather hang out in the comfort of my apartment then explore the outside world.  I even postponed grocery shopping as long as humanly possible because I just didn't feel like moving.  When I finally got myself up and moving, and spending time with friends I started to remember that Madrid is starting to feel like home, but only if I let it.
3. Find a Comfort Hobby-At home I always used to cook.  I love cooking, baking, trying different recipes, and food in general.  But when I moved here I was without an oven for the first time in my life and had trouble finding sufficient substitutes (hello where is the baking soda?), but thankfully my boyfriend and mom banded together to help me buy a small oven.  It is sadly seriously my favorite thing in my apartment and has made me feel so much more at home here in Madrid.  It's perfect for those cookie and cupcake cravings.
4. Don't Lose Touch with Home-Wherever you are in the world, whether it's near or far from where you're comfortable don't lose touch.  Sometimes it's not easy (the six hour time difference is not very forgiving) but even a few moments on Skype or just chatting on WhatsApp makes a world of difference.  Even if just for a few minutes talk to my cat, yes I said cat, I feel infinitely better.
5. Most Importantly: Don't Take Anything for Granted-Remember why you made this change in the first place.  Maybe you moved away for a great job or a new experience, but whatever the reason don't forget why you chose this step in your life.  You made the choice for a reason and don't take the opportunity for granted.  I may miss the comforts of home, but I am still incredibly grateful for this wonderful experience.

In the end, I have to realize that the good and bad are both parts of the experience of moving abroad.  Yes, I may have given up a lot and miss a lot of the familiar things from home, but as I near the three-month mark in Spain I realize I have also gained so much from living abroad.  I am more self-reliant, braver, and truly happier.  And not to mention that for the first time in the past two years of our relationship, my boyfriend and I are finally reunited.  Even on the worst days that is enough to remind me to be grateful for this experience in Madrid together.

Is anyone else out there feeling homesick too?  How are you dealing with it?