Nochebuena, Papa Noel, and a Snowless Christmas

I knew one day I wouldn't be able to come home for holidays; after all we all grow up, we all move away from home, and we all start our own lives.  I just never imagined the day would come so soon and that we would be separated by a whole ocean.

When I accepted the position to teach abroad in Madrid I made the conscious decision that I would not be home for Christmas.  Flight prices are so expensive this time of year, I didn't know if I would have my resident card in time, and it just seemed easier to stay in Spain to celebrate.

Christmas morning!

In retrospect, more convenient: yes, easier: no, rewarding and worth the experience: definitely.

While it was at times really hard being away from my family (a.k.a. on Christmas Eve I might have cried the whole bus ride home from the downtown area...), I was extremely lucky to be invited to spend the holidays with my boyfriend's family in Santander and had a home away from home.  Plus the added bonus that I got to see what Christmas was like as part of a Spanish family.

One of the things that pleasantly surprised me the most was the extent of the public Christmas decorations.  In both Madrid and Santander there were Christmas lights on all over the main streets and plazas; I was amazed when December hit and the streets were lit up every night.  While Madrid, as the capital, certainly had more lights I still found those in Santander impressive.

Town Hall of Santander

The plaza of the Ayuntamiento of Santander was lit up with tree lights, the reyes magos (wise men), and reindeer; not to mention the carousel and Mercado de Navidad in the Plaza de Pombo.  I guess I found all the holiday decorations strange becauses of all the controversy at home about decorating for Christmas and excluding other holidays.  It's become such a taboo subject in some public places like schools that I was not used to so much "Christmas", but being away from home I loved all the extra holiday spirit!

One tradition that was definitely new for me was Tardbuena. When December 24th roles around all the young (drinking age) people, at least in Santander, celebrate Tardebuena.  Before having dinner and spending the evening with their families, they spend the afternoon drinking at different bars with their friends.  And when I say the afternoon I literally mean from noon to seven bar hopping decked out with noisemakers and santa claus hats.

When I asked my friends about this tradition they said it's something that is a relatively recent addition to their holiday celebrations, maybe five or so years old.  While it may just seem like typical Spain going out and partying, it's more than just getting drunk before your family dinner.  It's about including your friends in your holiday celebration and celebrating being a "family" with them.

I found on my first Tardebuena that it was the perfect way to fit in 'friend-time' during the busy family holiday season.  Unfortunately for us though, and in true Santander fashion, Tardebuena ended in a rain-out as we tried to run to the bus stop without being soaked.  I failed and made the bus looking like a wet dog...

My second Spanish family

After everyone goes home, or is picked up, the real Nochebuena (Christmas Eve) celebrations began.  Finally, with dry hair, I got dressed for the night and we all went to my BF's grandfather's house in a village just outside of Santander.  Unlike most holiday celebrations at home there were not appetizers served while everyone was waiting around for dinner to be cooked, you just have to be patient and wait for food (very un-Spanish!)  This wait is even more noticeable by the fact that dinner was not served until 10:00 pm, an ungodly dinner hour for most Americans.  But absolutely worth all the delicious Spanish foods!

[If you want to learn about some of the traditional Spanish Christmas treats read this post by blogger Cat from Sunshine and Siestas: A Field Guide to Spanish Christmas Treats, I particularly like marzipan and turrón the most.]

A little piece of home!

When we did finally commence eating, our first plates were: langostinos (prawns/large shrimp), pâté, anchovies, cured lomo, salad, and of course piles of bread.  I'm not a huge fan of pâté or anchovies, but I love langostinos and I had a super Spanish lesson on how to peel them with a knife and fork.  I'm proud to say that I was mostly successful!  After the first plates came the meats: cochinillo (suckling pig/piglet) and cordero (lamb).  And finally dinner was followed by New York style Blueberry Cheesecake from the BF's cousin, assorted Christmas cookies I made with the family, and drinking and games until four in the morning...  I kid you not.  Let's just say this grandma started to fall asleep after midnight.

Christmas morning after waking up, not so bright and early, we gathered around the Christmas tree to open our presents from Papa Noel.  Papa Noel is very similar our 'American' Santa Claus and is a relatively new part of the Spanish holiday traditions.  In fact, many of my students and friends still receive most (if not all) of their presents from the Three Wise Men on the Epiphany on January 6th.  Nowadays in the BF's house they give most of the presents on Christmas and only a few on the Epiphany.

Christmas boxer sharing the spoils

Our piles of presents were all sorted and marked by our respective slippers, and like at home, we each took turns opening the gifts.  The BF's family was super sweet and even had some presents for me!  It was really thoughtful because I thought I was only going to have the gifts that I had gotten when my mom put Christmas money in my account for presents.

After the present extravaganza was finished we got ready to head back to their grandfather's house for Christmas day lunch.  We all filled up on more langostino, baked pasta, more meat, and leftover desserts from the night before.  Part of the family's holiday tradition was that after every Christmas day lunch the cousins all go out to the cinema to catch a movie, so while we digested we caught a showing of the second part of The Hobbit.

But even though "Christmas" was technically over, the celebrations were not.

Every year the BF and his friends have a Christmas dinner where they get dressed up, go to a nice restaurant for a special menu, and participate in Secret Santa.  Since this was my first Christmas here it was also my first year to be a part of the festivities.  Luckily I was given a good friend and I surprised her with a hand-knitted hat and jewelry.

This year we had the dinner on the 28th, the holiday of 'Día de los Inocentes,' the Spanish equivalent of April Fool's Day.  Let's just say the waiters' had a lot of fun making jokes when they were serving us...  The food was good, the wine was flowing, and it really meant a lot to feel like a part of the group.  As the 'foreigner' in a group it can be easy to feel left out even if no one means it: someone tells an inside cultural joke that you don't get because you didn't group up there, a song from the 80's comes on and the whole bar starts rocking out without you, etc.  

But my point is, that it's days like that Christmas dinner when you see the effort someone took trying to buy you the perfect present (an assortment of baking supplies, cupcakes for everyone!), that you realize just how much you're loved.  And that's when I realized everything.  

I was home for Christmas.  It just took a while to realize you can have more than one.

How was your Christmas?  Do you have any special holiday traditions?

Día de Acción de Gracias: Thanksgiving Abroad

Thanksgiving.  A huge American tradition where you gather with your family to remember all the things you have to be thankful for, supposedly like the pilgrims of Plymouth hundreds of years ago.

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The problem is though, what happens when you're an American in another country over 3,000 miles away from your family?  Well that's when the big girl pants come on and you pretend like you know how to cook a roast bird in a teeny tiny oven and invite everyone you know over to judge your cooking abilities.  Forget last Thanksgiving where I thought it was a big deal to cook with a fully prepared kitchen and ample seating.  I'm talking about how you find cranberry sauce and make pumpkin pie happen when you can't find the key ingredients?

But I digress.

Barely a week before Thanksgiving I thought: "Hey.  Wouldn't it be a great idea to invite squeeze ten people into our 40 m² apartment some of our friends over to celebrate?"

And it was great, but not always easy.  Especially finding all the traditional Thanksgiving fixings.  I took care of the desserts and meat (and a few random things like green beans and baked brie) which overall wasn't too bad finding most of the foods.  I had some serious difficulty acquiring ingredients for the pumpkin pie and cranberries though.  Luckily Madrid is a huge city and has plenty of American stores and managed to snag the last can of cranberry sauce in the store near my house. (Muahahaha)  And on the subject of the meat... I honestly gave up entirely on a huge roasted turkey and settled for a close-enough roasted chicken and turkey filets (with a delicious vinegar reduction sauce I might add).

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Thankfully it was potluck style so different friends were helping with different foods.  One friend made absolutely delicious squash and mashed potatoes, another supplied appetizers, and the rest supplied the beverages.  As per typical American tradition we had way too much food for all in attendance and all left completely stuffed.  And we even ended the day watching a little bit of good ol' American football.

And even though it was great, it was (for lack of a better word) different.  It was the first time I was away from my family for the holiday, the first time I was in charge of the meat, the first time I independently hosted it, and the first time celebrating in a place where Thanksgiving doesn't exist.  As an American abroad, not only are you missing the family and traditions you grew up with but you realize exactly how foreign you, and your culture, are.

But most importantly celebrating a holiday like Thanksgiving abroad reminds you why it was so special in the first place.  Too often we're so used to how things have always been done that we just go through the motions.  Celebrating, and teaching about, Thanksgiving here reminded me why I love this holiday and why this holiday is so important to us: to celebrate all the things we have to be thankful for.  And living abroad here in Madrid, how can I not be thankful for this experience and for all the great people I've met so far along the way.  An experience like this comes once in a lifetime and I'm truly grateful for everything, the good and the bad, that comes from living in a new country.

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And just to everybody else to be thankful, I'll leave you all with an adorable anecdote of teaching my students about Thanksgiving.  

On the actual day of Thanksgiving I helped teach the children about the history of the holiday and what it means "to be thankful."  In one of my first grade classes they got to thank each other for the nice things they do and many of them also wanted to thank me: "Thank you for loving me, thank you for helping me, and thank you for being in my class." THEN when some of my fourth graders realized that I wouldn't be able to celebrate with my family they told me they were sorry, gave me hugs, and wished me a Happy Thanksgiving anyway. Leave it to a bunch of sweet Spanish students to remind me of the meaning of Thanksgiving.

I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving too, whether near or far from your loved ones.  I'm thankful for all of you!

Adults Can Feel Homesick Too?

It's been ages since I felt even slightly motivated to write anything, ugh.  And I was going to write about my recent trip to Sevilla, but over the past few weeks I've started to become bothered by some creeping negative feelings that I couldn't quite describe.   And it wasn't until a few days ago when I read a blog post about another girl doing the same program as me: "How I'm Battling Homesickness", that I realized the feelings I've been experiencing recently are actually the result of homesickness.

You heard me right.  And to those that know me well it may come as a shock, because I've never really been one to be homesick.  When I was little I always wanted to go to the longest sleep-away camps, stay forever at my family's summer cabin, or always sleep over my friends' houses.

A recent care package I received from some old students from home

I hadn't even realized my mood had changed until it was pointed out by my boyfriend.  "Why aren't you studying Spanish anymore?  Why don't you go out with your friends?  Why don't you seem happy?" he kept asking.  But I'd just brush it off by arguing that I was exhausted, I would feel better soon.  But I wasn't feelig better, and how could I be that tired when I'm only working twenty hours per week?  Yes, dealing with the language barrier and children are tiring, but there had to be something more.

And queue me stumbling upon that aforementioned blog post about homesickness and reading what she had to say: "Homesickness has nothing to do with whether or not you wanted to move to your new place or if you were forced. It’s a completely involuntary reaction" (source).  It hit me.  It wasn't about me missing anything specific about home, but about missing things that felt familiar.  I of course missed my family, friends, and cats; but I also missed feeling comfortable.  I missed feeling like I belonged.

My BF trying to help me keep my Halloween traditions abroad

I do love living in Spain, but living in another culture isn't always easy.  I missed being able to tune in and out of a conversation without being lost, I missed knowing how to get around my town without getting lost, and I missed feeling like I belonged.  I missed so many little things that I had taken for granted at home, things I didn't notice until they were gone like: living in a house instead of an apartment, not having to plan trips around available public transportation, marathons on TV, and comfort food.

I think there's nothing inherently wrong with feeling homesick.  It's perfectly normally when you make a big change or move away from where you have become familiar.  As far as I'm concerned it just means that you left a place that was worth you missing it.  My problem though was that over the past few weeks I had become so busy wallowing in my homesickness that I had stopped appreciating all the wonderful reasons that I had moved to Spain for in the first place.

A hiking field trip with my students definitely helped clear my head.

So instead of continuing my moping, I set out to find ways to deal with finding ways to deal with my bout of homesickness in a healthier way:

Don't want to lose touch with this cutie ^

1. Allow some Familiar Media-I had set out to only watch programs and movies in Spanish while I was living here, but then I just found myself missing the familiar voices of characters from my favorite shows and movies.  So I came up with a compromise of watching my favorites in English but the rest in Spanish to improve my understanding.  And to be quite honest I find that now that I feel like I have the choice, I generally choose to leave the TV in Spanish.
2. Don't Hide Away from the World-There have been so many days recently where I'd rather hang out in the comfort of my apartment then explore the outside world.  I even postponed grocery shopping as long as humanly possible because I just didn't feel like moving.  When I finally got myself up and moving, and spending time with friends I started to remember that Madrid is starting to feel like home, but only if I let it.
3. Find a Comfort Hobby-At home I always used to cook.  I love cooking, baking, trying different recipes, and food in general.  But when I moved here I was without an oven for the first time in my life and had trouble finding sufficient substitutes (hello where is the baking soda?), but thankfully my boyfriend and mom banded together to help me buy a small oven.  It is sadly seriously my favorite thing in my apartment and has made me feel so much more at home here in Madrid.  It's perfect for those cookie and cupcake cravings.
4. Don't Lose Touch with Home-Wherever you are in the world, whether it's near or far from where you're comfortable don't lose touch.  Sometimes it's not easy (the six hour time difference is not very forgiving) but even a few moments on Skype or just chatting on WhatsApp makes a world of difference.  Even if just for a few minutes talk to my cat, yes I said cat, I feel infinitely better.
5. Most Importantly: Don't Take Anything for Granted-Remember why you made this change in the first place.  Maybe you moved away for a great job or a new experience, but whatever the reason don't forget why you chose this step in your life.  You made the choice for a reason and don't take the opportunity for granted.  I may miss the comforts of home, but I am still incredibly grateful for this wonderful experience.

In the end, I have to realize that the good and bad are both parts of the experience of moving abroad.  Yes, I may have given up a lot and miss a lot of the familiar things from home, but as I near the three-month mark in Spain I realize I have also gained so much from living abroad.  I am more self-reliant, braver, and truly happier.  And not to mention that for the first time in the past two years of our relationship, my boyfriend and I are finally reunited.  Even on the worst days that is enough to remind me to be grateful for this experience in Madrid together.

Is anyone else out there feeling homesick too?  How are you dealing with it?