Life After College: Myths

Showing posts with label Myths. Show all posts

Showing posts with label Myths. Show all posts

Monday, February 17, 2014

Post-College Expectations Vs. Reality

Where have I been for the past few weeks? Drilling Spanish children on what it means to be healthy or unhealthy? Yes. Over indulging in Spanish culture? Maybe. Ignoring blog world? Never.

The truth is that my computer suddenly decided it didn't love me anymore and now processes at a speed roughly slower than a snail/tortoise hybrid baby would. While it "claims" there is no virus, I'm currently only able to add anything to my blog when the BF isn't using his computer (and with his Master's presentation this week, that time has been few and far between).

With that being said, it's also been a while since I've had a post more about dealing with life after college, instead of my current life abroad in Spain. While this does happen to be my life after college, I understand that there are many who may come to this blog who aren't very interested in what I'm doing but are looking for advice in the process of leaving their college years behind.

Well this one's for you guys.

Last year before I came to Spain I wrote a post called: Common Life After College Myths Debunked talking about some common myths I had heard, and some I felt, before graduating. Now almost two years post-graduation (Seriously? One year after college was hard enough to process...) I'm realizing that all my own expectations and plans have changed, and not necessarily in a negative way.

I thought I would have a real job by now...

Yeah I know it wasn't a good market, and very few people were being hired...but I thought somehow I would be different. Those statistics didn't apply to me, I had done well in all my student teaching practicums and even won awards, it may take a few tries I would be hired. Wrong. I still remember the first teaching jobs I applied to where over 400 people applied to the same position and I wasn't even called in for an interview. I was heartbroken, like I wasn't a good enough teacher because I wasn't hired straight out of college.

But after I started substitute teaching I began to realize that those statistics were there for a reason, and that I wasn't the only one trying to break into the education field. There were so many subsitutes I met who had been struggling like this for nearly a decade! And I finally realized that not having my dream job right away didn't mean I wasn't good enough, I had to define my own worth because no job would do that for me. So I made up my mind that, that was the year I made the move to Spain. I wanted to do something different with my life, and while it's still not my dream job being an auxiliar, I feel much more fulfilled working long term with a group of students then subbing in their classroom a few times a year.

I didn't think I could stay healthy

For anyone that has ever known me I'm a food-iac. I love food, love eating, and worse have a killer sweet tooth. On the other hand though, I also love to workout and stay physically active, but have the vice that I easily get overwhelmed by pressure and nap when I should be sweating. While in school I was able to keep up the tentative balance, but was never quite happy with my health regime. Regardless, I was worried that I would be able to break old unhealthy patterns, hmm dessert you say?, and that I wouldn't be able to afford to have healthy meals.

May not look like much, but stuffed eggplants!

So I started to learn how to cook and the beauty that is moderation. In the U.S. the food was a little more difficult because fresh fruit and vegetables can be so expensive, but here in Spain fresh produce is my cheapest purchase. I've taken my health into my own hands by constantly searching for new healthy ways to cook the food I love. I've also started to tap into Spanish foods with my Christmas gift of a Spanish cook-book which is full of vegtables and fruits. Overall the most important thing I've learned is that while we eat to fuel our bodies, we also eat to enjoy. Between using fresh ingredients, cooking from scratch, and moderation I have stayed healthy and happy post-college. Not to mention staying active is now as easy as searching fitness on pinterest!

I thought my university would always be home

I was not the stereotypical college student, I spent more time with my friends off campus than on, but it still felt like home to me. And with friends still left behind, I thought that feeling would never change for me. Especially since my campus was fifteen minutes away from and I practically grew up on the campus. Instead, I found that from the moment I stepped back on campus that it wasn't home anymore.

I was working six days a week and while I was worried about bills and going to bed on time, my friends were talking about parties and their classes. I found that except for a few close friends, I couldn't relate to the people I had once hung out with anymore, or the goals that had for their lives at that moment. Everytime I returned to campus I just felt more and more like an outsider looking in and one night when I walked past my old dorm, and saw a light on in my old room, it became clear that I no longer belonged there. And wouldn't again. At first I was sad, but it gave me the push I needed to move out of my comfort levels. My old college may no longer be my home, but that didn't mean I had to lose my friends or the memories I would take with me.

I didn't think I could afford my loans

Oh student loans, why must you be so expensive? They're were one of the most daunting things about graduating. I just remember thinking helpless, how would I ever be able to pay them back? But then again, I'm a proactive person and spent my senior year working two jobs on top of my studies to save money. When my grace period was over I had already saved enough money to make the payments of my first year of loans. And last year I saved up enough money to make the payments for two more years.

Mini-Plaza Mayor at Parque Europa

Don't get me wrong, it was a lot more work then you may think, I had to sacrifice a lot of time and things that I wanted. But thanks to that work I have been able to travel and make it to Spain this year (and afford my loans). Yes, student loans are expensive, and a nuisance, and...you get the picture. But they don't have to be impossible. With planning and hard work, you can beat your loan payments and enjoy your life. If you need some help making sense of your loans, read my post about dealing with student loan debt.

I thought I would be near my friends

This has been one of the hardest pills to swallow about going to a college near my house, and moving abroad to Spain (both with my friends from high school and college). My friends are some of the most important people in my life and I thought I would be able to keep up our girl's nights and general adventures. Post-college and having moved away I feel like I have to start all over again. I feel like I'm back in high school, or a freshman in college trying to find new people I can connect with (particularly hard if you're introvert that does a poor ~~awkward~~ job at pretending to be an extrovert).

But the hards thing has been that being so far away means I have missed a lot, of both the good and the bad. I can't be there to congratulate my friends on the new job or comfort them when a loved one has passed away. Even with skype, facebook, email, and whatsapp I'm not a part of their lives like we used to be. I feel like I'm in a long distance relationship all over again, but this time with my friends. While it's not easy, I've learned that the friendships (like all types of relationships) will remain strong if all parties want it to work and the effort is made to stay in touch. Thanks technology!

I didn't think I could travel

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that post-college I would be able to travel, let alone live abroad. Believe me when I say it hasn't always been an easy path, but for me it has been worth all that I've had to given up. And when I say give up, I mean all those little things that we have been told we need to be able survive: the newest clothes, the latest technology, a big house, new car, etc. And if those things make you happy, there's nothing wrong with that. I know plently of people who look at what I'm doing with my life and wouldn't feel happy or fulfilled.

But if you're like me, and traveling is your dream, then anything is possible. Maybe I don't have the nicest phone or laptop, maybe I don't have designer clothes or expensive accessories, I have a great experience and great memories. I can say "Remember that time we rented an apartment in the center of Paris and could see the eiffel tower from our balcony?" or "Remember that time I celebrated my birthday in Pamplona at the Running of the Bulls?" or even "Remember that time I fell up a crowded metro escalator with all my luggage trying to make a plane to Sevilla on time?" (true story, complete wipe out). And those memories, even the embarrassing, are for me worth giving up all those little things.

How has the post-college life met your expectations?

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Common Life After College Myths Debunked

If any of you recent grads out there were like me this time last year then you probably are A) freaking out about what you'll do in the Fall or B) wondering if your new career/education/life choice is the right one for you. You're finally having that realization that this isn't just a regular summer break, you've graduated and won't be going back to life as usual come September.

Life after college can be a very emotional time where you're unsure of who you are and what you want. Navigating these murky waters can be equal parts exciting, confusing, and frustrating. I'm sure many of you had an idea in your head of what life after college would be, whether good or bad, and I'm sure many more of you have been surprised at how different it can be from your expectations.

There are many stereotypes that are perpetuated about life after college and after hearing all these myths myself in my first year after college I'm here to debunk some of the most common from my personal experience.

*[Please remember that these are my personal experiences and they are not a cookie-cutter for all college graduates, we all have different experiences with our lives after college. I would love to hear about your own experiences in the comments section!]

You'll Have Your Life Completely Sorted Out and Know Exactly What You're Meant to Do

One myth that I definitely felt forced on me was this one, and particularly by those of my parents' generation. It was always the same dreaded question: "So what are you going to do in the Fall?". AH! I just wanted to scream that I didn't know yet. This feeling that once you graduate you should have everything planned is very stressful for many new graduates who really feel the pressure to have their life sorted out.

Maybe our parents' generation was that way. Maybe they were able to leave school and come out with a job, but it's not so simple now. But more and more people are going to college and an undergraduate degree may not be enough to set you apart from the sea of all the other job seekers. We feel a lot of pressure to leave school knowing what we want to do and having opportunities lined up.

When I graduated I had only been hired for one district as a substitute teacher. It wasn't until the end of August/beginning of September that I was offered the after-school position and hired at two other districts; incredibly last minutes!

The reality is that we are young adults, we are humans, and we are not fixed. Who we are changes, what we want changes. Most of us leave college still very unsure about who we are as people and what we want to do with our lives. If you are unsure about what you'll do in the Fall or what you've chosen to do in the Fall, don't let it get to you. We are young and being unsure is the norm. It's perfectly okay to not be 100% about your future, that's what this time of your life is about. It's about trying different things, experimenting, and finding out who you are and what you want out of life. Embrace it and learn to love your life after college!

You'll Quickly Find a Well Paying Job in Your Field, That's What a Degree is For Right?

Some of you may have been lucky and have found a great paying job in your career, but for the rest of us it's probably not so easy. I remember when I first graduated last May knowing that my state had a bad job market for elementary school teachers, but it couldn't be that bad...right? Um, wrong. I started applying to teaching jobs confident in my abilities, I had won awards for my student teaching and worked in classrooms for years, but it wasn't enough.

I got e-mails saying that over 400 people had applied to nearly each position where I had submitted an application. Needless to say I didn't get my dream job my first year after college, in fact I didn't get any full-time job. Instead I took multiple part-time jobs that were in my career. They may have not been what I wanted, but they gave me the invaluable real-world career experience that I needed. I didn't get rich quick, but thanks to being a smart spender and having a budget in place I have saved enough for moving to Spain with the Auxiliares de Conversación program this Fall. The point is, you probably won't get your dream job right away, but you can still find something in your career and if you're a smart saver can still make plenty of money.

You'll Be Stuck in a Terrible Job That You'll Hate

On the other hand of the previous extreme is that you'll have a terrible job that you'll hate. Chances are you won't have a nightmarish job, and if by some cruel turn of fate you do, remember that this first post-graduate job is not the position you'll have for the remainder of your life! Even in the current job market there are other, jobs out there if you land one you can't stand. Maybe you need to expand your job criteria, think outside the box about how you can apply your skills or if need be, relocate to a different area. Teaching jobs in Rhode Island are scarce and I've looked into my options for getting my teaching certificate in other states as a possibility.

So yes, I didn't get my dream job, and yes, I didn't make tens of thousands, but I don't hate my jobs. They may not be perfect but are at least in my chosen field (which I absolutely love!) and I'm constantly gaining more experience. Don't panic over your first post-graduate job experience. Try to get as much experience and knowledge you can and if you still absolutely hate it find something else. Life is too short to spend it stuck in a job that you are miserable in. There are always possibilities out there, you may just have to look harder for some of them.

Living at Home as a New Graduate is the End of the World

Like most American college graduates, I lived away from home while in college and was not looking forward to the move back home after graduation. You've spent the past few years finally gaining your independence and freedom to be brought back home feeling like it almost never happened. While it may feel like the end of the world, it really isn't. If your parents or family allows you to move back home, especially rent free, I highly suggest you take them up on their kindness.

It may not seem ideal for you, you may want to try and push yourself out into the 'real-world', but with the money you will be saving on rent you can use this opportunity to save a substantial amount of money to help pay down your student loans and establish yourself in the future. Along with this savings boost, living at home can give you time to sort out your goals and aspirations without risking a financial loss. Living at home helped me save thousands that I was able to put towards moving to Spain this Fall. And if you're afraid about losing your independence talk with your family about what you all want and need from the living arrangement. They may be surprisingly accommodating, after all they were your age once before.

You'll Never be Able to Pay Off Your Student Loans or Afford Anything Ever Again

This fear of daunting student loan payments goes hand and hand with the financial benefits of moving back home. Some people may rack up student loan debt without thinking about it and some may not have any other way to afford college, but the need to repay what was borrowed remains the same. They can be very confusing and it can quickly seem impossible to make sense of your student loans. However, I promise that if you know as much as you can about your loans they will be much less scary.

What many new graduates may not realize is that lenders can be understanding and there may be programs in place to help make your student loan payments more affordable like: payment plans, interest rate deductions, etc. All you have to do is ask! It may take a while to pay off your loans, depending on how much you owe and if you reduce payments, but it is possible and one day you will. And having student loan payments doesn't mean you have to sacrifice all enjoyment in your life. You can still have money for things like: entertainment, shopping, and travel. You'll just have to work hard and sort your priorities; decide what is important to you and your life. Just remember that student loans are not the end of the world either!

You'll Have No Social Life and No Friends

This one is tough because it does have some truth in it. Working full-time makes it harder to have the social life that most college graduates are used to, and it is much harder to keep the friends you had in college as well as meet new ones. You will have as many breaks or time off as you did in school, but it doesn't mean you can't go out or enjoy your life as it is now (which I think is pretty fun, hello classy wine tastings!). Instead of having free time during the day you'll have to utilize your nights and weekends, which can be hard for friends still in college because you'll be running on different time schedules, but it is possible.

And now that you're out of school you are probably further away from your college friends, but it's always possible to bridge the gap in a long-distance relationship (ideas whether romantic or between friends!). It will require more work to keep these friendships strong, but you'll start to see who are the friends worth putting the effort into and which friends are better left in your college days. And as for making new friends, it can also be challenging post-college. You no longer have clubs or classes to meet new people and may not work in an environment with people, but like most things isn't impossible. You can make new friends and survive life after college by getting involved in your community and joining groups with people who have similar interests.

Put yourself out there and you will surely find interesting people that have the potential to be life long friends. I love my life after college and love the group of friends I've retained, and the new ones I've made. College may be over, but this is the start of the rest of your life. It's all about what you make of it.

And for those of you who need a laugh via Buzzfeed: Enter the Real World: Expectations vs. Reality. Enjoy.

What has your life after college been like? Have you found any of these 'myths' to be a reality in your personal experience?

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