Balancing Life and Catching Up

It's been a while, okay maybe a few months is more than a while, but I've finally lost the guilty feeling of not keeping this blog up-to-date. Back in 2013 there were many times I forced myself to sit down in front of the screen and write something that just didn't inspire me. So for 2014 I had vowed that I would only write when I really felt moved to, and because it was something that interested me. If people read what I write that's great, if they don't I have this page for myself and my loved ones.

So I continue this vow for 2015. No inspiration, no post.

Teacher Appreciation Day, what's not inspiring about this?

Since moving back to Spain last summer I found myself wondering about my general outlook on life. I had gotten so comfortable living life here in Madrid that I almost forgot I was still living abroad. After the tragic death of Robin Williams, I vowed I had to seize the day more and push myself out of my comfort zone; whether it be small steps like buying running shoes, taking a Spanish exam, or hurtling down a mountain learning how to ski.

And yes, while it's a great to seize the day, there has to be some kind of balance to 'seizing the day' and being comfortable and secure. A balance I've never really felt like I've been able to grasp. Living with anxiety has always made me feel like I was living from one extreme to the next. I was always worrying about something, whether is was a legitimate concern or not.

Casual day relaxing with zombies at Parque de Atracciones.

The last half of 2014 brought about various steps to balance out my life, on all different levels. A balance of saving and spending, of work and fun, of comfort and excitement, of worrying and relaxing, and of social time and "me" time. I guess that's what it means to 'grow up,' knowing when, where, and how far to push yourself. And I feel that it truly paid off, because 2014 has been one of my happiest years.

In 2014 I spent my first Christmas season away from home. Instead I visited with my boyfriend's amazing family in Santander and was welcomed with open arms into their holiday celebrations; had my first cotillón, my first roscón de reyes, and my first Carnaval. I spent a wonderful month at home in the summer enjoying the beach and time with my friends and family and renewed for a second year in my school.

Beautiful Cantabria

Upon my return to Spain I pushed myself to learn and improve myself, both physically and mentally. I started to run in hopes of being able to run 5 km without my inhaler. I took the DELE (Diploma of Spanish as a Foreign Language) at the B2 level and I finished the year off by learning how to ski, even making my way onto some easy Red paths.

I took full advantage of living in Europe and traveled as much as possible. I saved every spare cent I could and explored more of Europe and Spain. With my father I returned to Paris, Rome and Toledo, but also traveled to new destinations like Ávila, Barcelona, Mérida, Santiago de Compestela, Ibiza, Salamanca, and Ireland. (And for all those who think it's not possible, I've also been actively saving and paying off my student loans. It's all about the private classes and budgeting).

Templo de Debod

As 2015 arrived, I thought about my initial goals for arriving to Spain and how they all circled around traveling and Spanish. Of course there's nothing wrong with wanting to see the world and improving my language skills, but few of them focused on my health and well-being. My blog is called "Life after College," and I feel like over the past few years I've lost sight of my original intentions: documenting my life after college in a relatable way. 

Yes, my own life has revolved around Spain the past couple of years, but I don't want to paint an idyllic picture of my life as sunshine and roses. Spain is wonderful and I love living here, but I still have doubts of my post-graduate life. How am I going to pay off my student loans? What am I doing with my life? What am I going to do in the future? Is this the right choice for me?

The winding road after college

So I've created new goals this year, goals that balance my love of travel with my health and well-being. Goals to help stay true to myself, and to this blog. Goals to help make the most of my life after college.

• Stick to a consistent exercise routine
• Eat healthier foods without sacrificing taste
• Run 5 km without an inhaler
• Learn how to relax
• Save for my student loans
• Blog when I can, and share the good and the bad
• Improve my Spanish to take the C1 exam next spring
• Travel to two new countries this year (Portugal down, one more to go)
• Visit the rest of Spain's autonomous communities
• Aragón
• Gran Canarias
• Comunidad Valenciana
• Murcia

I am excited to work more on this blog this year, and to share some fantastic news. Big changes are coming my way this year, and I couldn't be happier!

Post-College Expectations Vs. Reality

Where have I been for the past few weeks?  Drilling Spanish children on what it means to be healthy or unhealthy? Yes. Over indulging in Spanish culture?  Maybe.  Ignoring blog world? Never.

The truth is that my computer suddenly decided it didn't love me anymore and now processes at a speed roughly slower than a snail/tortoise hybrid baby would.  While it "claims" there is no virus, I'm currently only able to add anything to my blog when the BF isn't using his computer (and with his Master's presentation this week, that time has been few and far between).

With that being said, it's also been a while since I've had a post more about dealing with life after college, instead of my current life abroad in Spain.  While this does happen to be my life after college, I understand that there are many who may come to this blog who aren't very interested in what I'm doing but are looking for advice in the process of leaving their college years behind.

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Well this one's for you guys.

Last year before I came to Spain I wrote a post called: Common Life After College Myths Debunked talking about some common myths I had heard, and some I felt, before graduating.  Now almost two years post-graduation (Seriously? One year after college was hard enough to process...) I'm realizing that all my own expectations and plans have changed, and not necessarily in a negative way.

I thought I would have a real job by now...

Yeah I know it wasn't a good market, and very few people were being hired...but I thought somehow I would be different.  Those statistics didn't apply to me, I had done well in all my student teaching practicums and even won awards, it may take a few tries I would be hired.  Wrong.  I still remember the first teaching jobs I applied to where over 400 people applied to the same position and I wasn't even called in for an interview.  I was heartbroken, like I wasn't a good enough teacher because I wasn't hired straight out of college.  

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But after I started substitute teaching  I began to realize that those statistics were there for a reason, and that I wasn't the only one trying to break into the education field.  There were so many subsitutes I met who had been struggling like this for nearly a decade!  And I finally realized that not having my dream job right away didn't mean I wasn't good enough, I had to define my own worth because no job would do that for me.  So I made up my mind that, that was the year I made the move to Spain.  I wanted to do something different with my life, and while it's still not my dream job being an auxiliar, I feel much more fulfilled working long term with a group of students then subbing in their classroom a few times a year.

I didn't think I could stay healthy

For anyone that has ever known me I'm a food-iac.  I love food, love eating, and worse have a killer sweet tooth.  On the other hand though, I also love to workout and stay physically active, but have the vice that I easily get overwhelmed by pressure and nap when I should be sweating.  While in school I was able to keep up the tentative balance, but was never quite happy with my health regime.  Regardless, I was worried that I would be able to break old unhealthy patterns, hmm dessert you say?, and that I wouldn't be able to afford to have healthy meals.

May not look like much, but stuffed eggplants!

So I started to learn how to cook and the beauty that is moderation.  In the U.S. the food was a little more difficult because fresh fruit and vegetables can be so expensive, but here in Spain fresh produce is my cheapest purchase.  I've taken my health into my own hands by constantly searching for new healthy ways to cook the food I love.  I've also started to tap into Spanish foods with my Christmas gift of a Spanish cook-book which is full of vegtables and fruits.  Overall the most important thing I've learned is that while we eat to fuel our bodies, we also eat to enjoy.  Between using fresh ingredients, cooking from scratch, and moderation I have stayed healthy and happy post-college.  Not to mention staying active is now as easy as searching fitness on pinterest!

I thought my university would always be home

I was not the stereotypical college student, I spent more time with my friends off campus than on, but it still felt like home to me.  And with friends still left behind, I thought that feeling would never change for me.  Especially since my campus was fifteen minutes away from and I practically grew up on the campus.  Instead, I found that from the moment I stepped back on campus that it wasn't home anymore.  

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I was working six days a week and while I was worried about bills and going to bed on time, my friends were talking about parties and their classes.  I found that except for a few close friends, I couldn't relate to the people I had once hung out with anymore, or the goals that had for their lives at that moment.  Everytime I returned to campus I just felt more and more like an outsider looking in and one night when I walked past my old dorm, and saw a light on in my old room, it became clear that I no longer belonged there.  And wouldn't again.  At first I was sad, but it gave me the push I needed to move out of my comfort levels.  My old college may no longer be my home, but that didn't mean I had to lose my friends or the memories I would take with me.

I didn't think I could afford my loans

Oh student loans, why must you be so expensive?  They're were one of the most daunting things about graduating.  I just remember thinking helpless, how would I ever be able to pay them back?  But then again, I'm a proactive person and spent my senior year working two jobs on top of my studies to save money.  When my grace period was over I had already saved enough money to make the payments of my first year of loans.  And last year I saved up enough money to make the payments for two more years.

Mini-Plaza Mayor at Parque Europa

Don't get me wrong, it was a lot more work then you may think, I had to sacrifice a lot of time and things that I wanted. But thanks to that work I have been able to travel and make it to Spain this year (and afford my loans).  Yes, student loans are expensive, and a nuisance, and...you get the picture.  But they don't have to be impossible.  With planning and hard work, you can beat your loan payments and enjoy your life.  If you need some help making sense of your loans, read my post about dealing with student loan debt.

I thought I would be near my friends

This has been one of the hardest pills to swallow about going to a college near my house, and moving abroad to Spain (both with my friends from high school and college).  My friends are some of the most important people in my life and I thought I would be able to keep up our girl's nights and general adventures.  Post-college and having moved away I feel like I have to start all over again.  I feel like I'm back in high school, or a freshman in college trying to find new people I can connect with (particularly hard if you're introvert that does a poor awkward job at pretending to be an extrovert).

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But the hards thing has been that being so far away means I have missed a lot, of both the good and the bad.  I can't be there to congratulate my friends on the new job or comfort them when a loved one has passed away.  Even with skype, facebook, email, and whatsapp I'm not a part of their lives like we used to be.  I feel like I'm in a long distance relationship all over again, but this time with my friends.  While it's not easy, I've learned that the friendships (like all types of relationships) will remain strong if all parties want it to work and the effort is made to stay in touch.  Thanks technology!

I didn't think I could travel

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that post-college I would be able to travel, let alone live abroad.  Believe me when I say it hasn't always been an easy path, but for me it has been worth all that I've had to given up.  And when I say give up, I mean all those little things that we have been told we need to be able survive: the newest clothes, the latest technology, a big house, new car, etc.  And if those things make you happy, there's nothing wrong with that.  I know plently of people who look at what I'm doing with my life and wouldn't feel happy or fulfilled.

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But if you're like me, and traveling is your dream, then anything is possible.  Maybe I don't have the nicest phone or laptop, maybe I don't have designer clothes or expensive accessories, I have a great experience and great memories.  I can say "Remember that time we rented an apartment in the center of Paris and could see the eiffel tower from our balcony?" or "Remember that time I celebrated my birthday in Pamplona at the Running of the Bulls?" or even "Remember that time I fell up a crowded metro escalator with all my luggage trying to make a plane to Sevilla on time?" (true story, complete wipe out).  And those memories, even the embarrassing, are for me worth giving up all those little things.

How has the post-college life met your expectations?

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November in Sevilla

Cathedral of Sevilla

For the puente (long weekend) back at the beginning of November my boyfriend and took a trip to the city of Sevilla, the capital of the Province of Sevilla as well as the capital of the Autonomous Community of Andalucía.  While it was a bit of a last minute planned trip, it was a trip I have always wanted to take.

The previous times I have visited Spain I had never traveled further south of Toledo, which is in central Spain, and I've always wanted to visit Andalucía.  It was the city my grandmother probably visited the most in Spain, because of friends that lived in the city, and was also the city I always heard the most about growing up.

Sevilla is a very old city, to be fair by USA standards all European cities are very old, and has been one of Spain's most important cities for centuries (how cannot it not be when its mythological founder was Hercules!).  It was first part of a culture of people who had a similar culture as the ancient Phonecians, taken by the Romans, then the Moors, and then Spain during the Reconquista.  Essentially a long, long history of various cultural influence.  A history major's dream.

Slight obsession with the beautiful tiles throughout Sevilla...

Shadows cast walking up the Giralda

Our arrival to Sevilla was a bit rough and honestly we almost didn't catch our plane.  It was an early morning flight so we were planning on taking a taxi to the airport because the metro doesn't run very frequently that early.  We we didn't plan on was that it was the day after Halloween and at 6:00 am people would still be going out and there would be no taxis in the center near our house.  Fail.  

We managed to catch sprint to the metro and get off fall up the escalator with my suitcase at the bus terminal at Avenida de América to finally get a taxi to the airport.  We arrived at our gate just as our section began boarding the plane, both pretty sweaty and out of breath.  SO not a good start to the day.

Luckily though it is a quick flight from Madrid and there is a shuttle from the airport to the center of the city.  Even luckier was that one of the stops was barely a two minute walk from our hostel.  And still luckier when we arrived at our planned hostel and for unforeseen issues with the room we were moved to a hostel even closer to the center.  As in next to the Alcázar of Sevilla (winning).  It was nice finally having the day turn around from the morning's panic.

It may be November, but there were still beautiful blossoms in the Alcázar.

Once we arrived we wanted to walk along the Guadalquivir River and start to plan what sights we would want to see that day.  We casually enjoyed some churros and gofres (waffles) by the Puente Triano/Isabel II and basked (literally) in the fact that Sevilla was, even in November, way warmer than Madrid.  Ok so Madrid isn't that cold and I am from New England but this body is just not meant for anything remotely 'cold.'  I've spent the past week decked out in my puffy winter coat complete with hat, gloves, and scarves (note to self: should have brought all my knitted items from home, damn.)

But anyway, I really liked Sevilla.  Even though it's one of the largest cities in Spain, it had a small-city feel to me.  I loved the narrow winding streets in the Barrio Santa Cruz, the history of the city, the tiles covering the buildings around every street corner,  and overall I loved seeing how different cities in the south are from the northern cities, like Santander, that I'm used to.  It's part of what I love about Spain, there's so much diversity in the cities and provinces.  They just seem to have their own distinct 'feelings'.

In our long weekend we managed to see most of the main 'touristic sights' and while the BF and I really loved some sights, there were others that we were a bit disappointed by (the Torre del Oro for example).  Personally our favorites were the Alcázar, Plaza de España, and the General Archive of the Indies.  They were in short: spectacular.  The beautiful tiles, the history, the detail.  If I were to visit Sevilla again they would definitely be worth a second (or third) visit.

La Maestranza Bullring

Torre Del Oro

General Archive of the Indies

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You can see the roof of the Archive to the left.

Catedral de Sevilla and La Giralda

Oh hey there Columbus.

Alcázar of Sevilla

Plaza de España

Parque de Maria Luisa

Metropol Parasol and "Antiquarium"

The last day we spent in Sevilla was more about enjoying the city of Sevilla itself instead of seeing anymore sights.  We enjoyed some cañas, watched street performers, and wandered some more throughout the winding mazes of streets.  But while visiting Sevilla was great, we both found the center to be very touristic (maybe just a bet biased because of all the horse poo we had to avoid trying to walk back to our hostel).  By the end of the last day we both ready to return home to Madrid, to our piso and own bed.  

Wanting to go home to our piso was the first time that I really felt at home in Spain, the first time that when I said 'home' I meant Madrid.  We did really like our trip to Sevilla, but there was honestly nothing better than going to sleep in our own bed that night (having a nice mattress pad from Ikea certainly helped).

It was a good thing I got the chance to rest because things were about to get extremely busy with my work here in Madrid, a.k.a. the reason I have been missing in action from the blog world for the past month.  Let's just say with everything going on I'm looking for the holiday break at the end of December...

Home, sweet home.

Have you been to Sevilla?  How did you find the city?

Goodbye is the Hardest

Well today is the day.  In just a few hours I'll be on my one-way flight to Madrid and beginning my year abroad.  (AHH THE NERVES!!)  I'm down to last minute errands and double checking my bags and packing lists to make sure I have everything I need, or at least what I can remember...

I honestly don't even know what to write now with so much on mind...did I remember to pack everything?  Do I have all my paperwork?  What if something goes wrong?  What if my luggage gets lost?  And most importantly how do I say goodbye to everyone I know and love here?

Unlike many people doing this teaching program who know it's only for a couple years at the most before they return to the USA, I don't have that security.  I on the other hand, am going over to Madrid knowing that if things work out for my boyfriend and I there, I may not be returning home to Rhode Island.  While this could only be a 'see you later,' it very well could be a 'good-bye.'  And that my friends, is hard for me to process.


I'm a sentimental person, I get very attached to people, places, and things.  I can't help being emotional!  But being so attached definitely makes it much harder for me to make this move, even knowing so many wonderful people abroad in Spain who are waiting for me.

This past week I didn't work but instead took the opportunity to spend what little time I had left with all the people I love.  And it's been really hard saying my last goodbyes to not only the people, but the places I have to come to love here.

I don't know I'll survive without Legolas...

Instead of trying to process all of these emotions right now, I'm trying to think of all the things I've enjoyed doing this summer that remind me of why I love where I'm from so much.  So here's a reflection back on all the great memories I had saying good-bye this summer:

Fourth of July

Aging...I mean my birthday...

Seeing one of my favorite bands live!

Traditional RI food <3

Visiting Boston with my aunt and cousin

Seeing one of my oldest friends

Saying goodbye to my childhood

Learning about where my grandmother grew up

And spending time with my friends

So thank you to all of my friends and family for all of your support and love, you've made it very difficult to say good-bye.  I wish anyone else in the same situation the best of luck on your journeys and on your own good-byes, may you have just as amazing people making good-byes difficult for you!